


On the sofa, with you

by Writor



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-23
Updated: 2013-10-23
Packaged: 2017-12-30 06:52:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1015493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writor/pseuds/Writor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry's getting married. Liam's trying his best not to fall apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On the sofa, with you

The fire crackles as Louis prods it with a stick, small sparks flicking in Liam's direction.  Zayn and Niall are talking in a quiet hush, heads bent together, the conversation only for their ears. Liam's eyes find the chair beside him, where Harry had somehow managed to curl himself up. The younger boys eyes are on the fire, half open, as if he's fighting sleep. 

 

"Hey.." Liam whispers. 

 

It takes a moment for Harry to drag himself from whatever thought he'd got lost in, head slowly turning in Liam's direction. Liam feels himself involuntary shiver as wide green eyes regard him. 

 

Liam gulps down the lump in his throat and holds out the beer he'd been nursing for an hour. "Congratulations." 

 

"Thanks." Harry mumbles, lips curling up in to a lazy smile. 

 

They stare each other for longer than necessary, until Liam can't handle the beating in his chest. Louis finally gives up playing with the fire and settles in the chair to the left of Liam. A silence overcomes the five of them, the fire crackling the only noise surrounding them. 

 

Harry's eyes are still on him but Liam now his trained on the fire, trying his best no to break. Zayn's the first to make a noise, tugging his iPhone from the pocket of his jogging bottoms. 

 

"Twelve missed calls." He sighs. 

 

Louis snorts from beside Liam. "Danny probably gave up as soon as Zia tried to plait his hair." 

 

Liam remembers to a few weeks back when he watched Zayn's troublesome twosome. The entire weekend he was split between playing dress up with Zia and being a climbing frame for Hassan. 

 

"One weekend, that's all I wanted." Zayn complains, clicking a few buttons on his phone. 

 

Liam watches as he puts the phone to his ear, talking quietly to calm the person on the other end of the line. Then Zayn's face lights up, the way it always does when he's talking to one of his kids. 

 

"What wrong, sweetheart?" 

 

Louis' leaning forward in his chair now, worry clear in his face. Liam feels a frown pull down his own lips as he watches Zayn's face change emotion. 

"Okay, baby." Zayn says. "I'll call mummy and she'll come pick you up." 

 

There's pain in Zayn's face and Liam knows one of the twins is crying for him on the other end of the phone. He wants to stand up, go over and comfort his friend. Only Niall beats him to it, reaching an arm around Zayn and letting the other lad lean in to him. 

 

"Go and cuddle up to uncle Danny." Zayn murmurs. "Mummy will be there soon, okay darlin'?" 

 

Liam feels his own heart clench when Zayn winces, he dreads to think what the child is saying in to the phone. 

 

"I love you." Zayn concedes. "Mummy will be there soon." 

 

It's a with a sigh that he ends the phone call, letting himself be pulled in to the comfort of Niall's warmth. It's Harry who pushes Zayn to tell them what's going on. Liam tries to keep his focus on Zayn, even if the corner of his eye catches Harry's fringe fighting to escape from under his beanie. 

 

"Hassan's had a nightmare." He sighs. "Something about me and Perrie dying in a car crash."  

 

"Do you want to go?" Liam asks because he knows none of the others will. 

 

Zayn shakes his head immediately. "I need to ring Perrie." 

 

Niall releases his grip around the bradford lad enough for him to get up from his chair. Liam watches as he steps away from the camp, in to the darkness of the forrest. 

 

"I can't wait for that." Harry muses. 

 

Three pairs of eyes look at him judgingly. "Not, obviously not the Hassan being upset part. The part where there's barley anytime for me because there are  these little people that always want my attention."

 

Liam tries to stop the smile gracing his lips. There's a hand on his shoulder, squeezing hard. It's Louis, it's always been Louis. That one person who brings him back to reality, reminds him that Harry isn't his anymore. 

 

"You've got to have the honeymoon period first." Niall explains. "That's the best." 

 

Louis' hand squeezes down harder and Liam's grateful the distraction of the pain. "When was the last time your rang your wife, Horan?" 

 

"An hour ago." Niall frowns. "She told me to stop ringing because I kept waking the baby." 

 

Liam reaches his hand up to cover Louis', letting him know he's okay and thankful. The warm beer still hangs loosely in his hands, the bottom of the bottle resting against his thigh. Liam thinks back to when the first did this, when Louis was the only who was eighteen and Liam was the only one with a girlfriend. Now three out of five of them are married, two out of five had kids and another had one on the way. Back then Liam never thought at twenty six, he'd be the only one without all that. In fact they'd made a bet that he'd be the first one to settle down, that him and Danielle would have been married for a good few years by now. 

 

Zayn comes back over to the group just as Niall and Louis begin to talk about fatherhood. Liam tries to catch the other boys eyes as he settles back in to his chair. Zayn nods, small smile on his lips. Liam knows he's going to spend the rest of the night wanting to be with Hassan and worrying if he's okay. Though he also knows that Zayn won't leave because it would make Harry upset and Zayn will do anything to keep his lads happy. 

"Remember the first time we came here..." Harry starts, bringing Niall and Louis' conversation to a halt. 

 

Louis lifts his feet up to rest them on Liam's lap. "You got paralytic." 

 

"Liam spent the whole night in a panic because he'd seen that program where a  drunk guy died chocking on his sick." Niall adds. 

 

Zayn's lets out a small breathy laugh, as if lost in the memory. "Louis thought he was gonna go to jail because he was the one who bought the booze." 

 

Liam curls a hand around Louis' ankle, letting himself get lost in the memory. They had only bought a two man tent and had to sleep practically on top of each other. Liam was squished right up against the side, and it was raining because he remembers there was a continuous drip of water on his neck. Harry was curled up in to his side, drifting in and out of consciousness. Liam hadn't slept a wink that night, he kept his focus on the younger lad, making sure nothing happened to him while he slept. 

 

"Liam looked after me." Harry says quietly from beside him. 

 

It's Liam's mistake that he looks in the others boy direction. It's his fault the pain he feels in his chest when Harry smiles at him fondly. 

 

"Liam looks after everyone." Louis says, wiggling his ankle in Liam's grip. 

 

"It's my job." Liam mumbles, pulling his attention away from Harry and focusing on where his thumb rests against the bare skin of Louis' foot. 

 

"The daddy of the group." Niall says. "We always did come to you when we'd done something stupid." 

 

Zayn snorts. "Some of us still do." 

 

Liam looks up just in time to see Niall shooting Zayn a death glare. "It's not my fault my boss is a complete asshole." 

 

"Didn't mean you had to hit him with your guitar." Louis counters. 

 

Harry laughs. "What?" 

 

"I forgot you'd been in love land for the past few months." Niall says. "Yeah, the jackass told me he wasn't going to pay me for a six hour shift. I broke my favourite guitar on that assholes head." 

 

Harry laughs louder this time, demanding the entire story. Liam closes his eyes and slumps in his chair as Niall begins his story. Louis' other foot soon joins the one on his lap, as the other lad gets comfortable beside him. Harry's close enough to Liam that when he laughs, his body vibrates against Liam's arm. 

 

He must fall asleep because when he wakes up a few hours later, the fire is barley lit. Zayn and Niall's chairs are empty and Liam's lap is vacant of Louis' legs. When he turns his head to the right, there's still curled up Harry, his eyes barley open as he watches the fire die. 

 

"Should add some more wood." Liam yawns, causing the other boy to jump. 

 

Liam offers an apologetic smile as he climbs from his chair to go on search of the fire wood they had collected earlier. There's barley any left but it will be enough to keep them going until it's light. He carries what's left over fire and begins to pile on the wood. 

 

"Liam?" Harry asks, now behind him. 

 

"Hmmm?"

 

Harry fumbles, his chair cracking some twigs beneath it. "You're coming...to the wedding...right?" 

 

Liam drops the wood from his hand in to the fire a little to closely. The fire licks at his wrist and he swears under his breath. Harry's hands are on his shoulder, pulling him back, to inspect the wound. Liam sighs, now trapped between Harry's legs. The younger lad grabs a bottle of water from beside his chair and pours it over Liam's wrist. 

 

"Should I take that as a no?" Harry asks, wrapping some type of cloth around Liam's wrist. 

 

Liam shrugs, watching as Harry covers the cloth with the water left in the bottle. "Would you come to my wedding?"

 

There's a pause, then a mimicked shrug. "If you wanted me to." 

 

"Do you want me to?" Liam asks, tilting his head. 

 

Harry's watery eyes find his own as the younger lad nods, lips pursed. Liam tilts his head back further, his lips almost brushing Harry's as he whispers 'okay'. 

 

They stay like that for a long while, not talking or moving. Their heads pressed together, close enough for their breath to become one. The sun is climbing the sky when they finally break apart. Liam feels the tiredness of a forty hour work week and barley any sleep, finally catching up to him. 

 

"Go get some sleep." Harry tells him. "I'll come get you when we're ready to leave." 

 

Liam hasn't got the energy to argue, he simply squeezes Harry's knee thankfully as he climbs to his feet. Louis and him are sharing a tent, and the other lad is passed out in the center when Liam climbs in. For such a small person, he sure can take up a lot of room. Liam scoff fondly, moving some of the bags to the left of Louis and settling himself in. The older lad wakes enough to move his arm around and incorporate the new body. 

 

When he wakes up again, this time it's to someone kicking at his ankle. Zayn's smiling tiredly down at him when he blinks his eyes open, and Liam attempts to offer one in return. 

 

"Back to reality." Zayn says, offering a hand. 

 

Liam takes it but uses his own strength to pull himself up. "We'll drop you off first." 

 

The 'because i know you're dying to see your upset son' goes unsaid. Zayn squeezes at Liam's shoulder thankfully before removing himself from the tent. 

All the boys are packed and ready when Liam finally emerges from the tent with his own bags. Louis and Harry are having a hushed conversation by the car, while Niall sits in the passenger seat. Liam quickly takes down the tent he and Louis shared, carrying it with the rest of his belongings, over to the car. 

 

"Ready?" Zayn asks, cigarette in hand and one behind his ear. 

 

Liam nods, eyes falling to the burning nicotine stick. "How many have you had?" 

 

"Enough to keep me going." 

 

There's a hint of something in his voice, something like guilt. Whatever it is causes Liam to drop the subject and move to the back of the car, to dump his bags in. Louis and Harry have stopped their conversation by the time he's shut the boot. Both of them now sat in the back of Liam's black range rover. Zayn's stubbing out his cigarette as Liam rounds the car to the drivers side. 

 

"Could you keep this one?" He asks, removing the one from behind his ear. 

 

Liam nods. "You know where your pack is." 

 

Then he climbs in to the drivers side of the car. Zayn climbs in to the seat behind, handing the cigarette to Niall, who puts it back with the spare pack Liam keeps in the glove department. 

 

"This was fun." Harry says as Liam puts the car in to reverse. 

 

"Still sure you don't want the bachelor party with the stripper?" Niall questions, twisting his head around to look at Harry. 

 

Harry shakes his head, catching Liam's eye in the rear view mirror. "This was perfect." 

 

"Plus Sarah banned you from bachelor parties." Louis comments. "So you wouldn't be able to go anyway." 

 

Niall opens his mouth to retaliate but it slowly closes. It's as if the mention of his wife's name reminds him and he's tugging his phone from his jeans, scrolling through his contacts and pressing ring. 

 

That seems to set of a chain reaction and soon enough most of the car is on the phone to their other half. Liam keeps his focus on the road, trying not to listen in to conversations. 

 

"We're heading back now." He hears Zayn say and then softer. "How is he?" 

 

"Babe, can you put the kettle on for when I get home?" He hears Louis ask. 

 

Niall's babbling nonsense to his left, clearly been put on the phone to his three month old son. 

 

"Hiii." He hears Harry say fondly. "We've just left, yeah, it was really fun. I missed you though." 

 

Liam stops himself listening after that, attempting to turn on some music to block out all their (Harry's) voices. Until he gets yelled at by Louis who apparently can't hear Eleanor of Liam's 'pop crap'. 

The drive was three hours exactly, from the park back to London. It's an hour from each of their hometowns, almost in the middle of them all. That's the reason they had gone there in the first place. 

When Liam was old enough to pass his drivers test and Louis no longer had to do the driving between the four towns. It had been a shitty day, the summer holiday before Louis was due to go to Uni. It was Louis idea, as most things always are. Louis picked up Zayn,. Liam picked up Harry and Niall, and all five of them drove to this park and camp overnight. 

It became a regular thing after that, the thing that kept them in touch. While Louis was in doing his degree in London, he'd come back in the summers and that's where they'd spend most of their time. Then Zayn and Liam both went to do degrees in London. Until the last two boys followed, and the park was just somewhere they went to remember. Though they still went back at least once every summer, as tradition. 

The tradition has slowly dwindled off after Zayn got married, had his twins. Then Niall got married, then Louis. Then Niall had a baby and Eleanor fell pregnant. 

In fact before Harry had suggested a week ago, they hadn't been back to the park for at least three years. Liam's surprised he'd even remembered the root. 

 

"Zayn's first." Louis says, dragging Liam from his thoughts. 

 

Liam had been to lost in memories that hadn't even noticed they were only twenty minutes out of London. As they come off the motorway, he takes the left turning, leading him towards the quiet suburb where Zayn lives. 

 

"Thanks, man." Zayn says as they pull up outside his house. 

 

"No problem, need help with your stuff?" 

 

Zayn shakes his head, reaching around the seat to squeeze Liam's shoulder. "Give me a text." 

 

"Yeah." Liam breaths. 

 

The older climbs from the car after offering goodbyes and hugs to the other lads. Zayn's grabbed his stuff from the boot and is climbing the steps to his house, when the front door swings open. Perrie stands there, with a very tired looking Hassan on her hip. Zayn presses a kiss to Perrie's lips when he reaches her, then turns his his attention to his son. Zia appears by pushing herself through Perrie's legs, waving when she spots the familiar car. Liam beeps as Niall waves back like a crazy person. Zayn turns around, his hand resting on Hassan's back. He waves to the lads before leading his family inside. 

 

"I can't wait for that." Harry sighs happily. 

 

Liam glances in the rear view mirror, to see Harry with his head against the car door, staring out of the window dreamily. Louis' head suddenly appears between the seats. 

 

"Niall next." 

 

Liam glances at him. "Your closer." 

 

"Priority order." Louis shrugs. "Niall has nappy duties to get to." 

 

Liam shakes his head. "I should be terrified of the way your mind works." 

 

"You love me." Louis states, falling back in to his seat. 

 

Liam switches his indicator from left to right, turning the way that would lead them to Niall's house. Sarah is gardening when they pull up outside, she doesn't even look up when Niall gets out of the car. Liam gets out to because Niall's been known to forget the world around him when he sets eyes on his wife. 

 

"Where's my son?" Niall asks as a greeting. 

 

Sarah gestures her shovel towards the house. "He's napping, thanks to his father's ridiculous phone calls keeping him awake all night. I mean who calls every hour--" 

 

That's when Niall pulls her to her feet and kisses her. Liam feels the need to look away then, not wanting to intrude on an intimate moment. He moves to grab Niall's bags from the boot and makes his way up the path slowly, to hand them to the irish lad. Gladly the couple had pulled apart by the time he reaches them. 

 

"Thank you, Liam." Sarah beams from under Niall's arm. 

 

"No bother." Liam smiles. "How's Oscar?" 

 

"He sleeps and eats." Sarah shrugs, glancing up at her husband. "So pretty much his father's son." 

 

"You love us both." Niall winks cheekily. 

 

Sarah giggles, hitting Niall's chest and claiming he's a dork. Liam smiles fondly, reaching out to squeeze his friends arm. Then he turns on his foot, heading back down the path. 

 

"Liam?" Sarah calls after him. 

 

Liam turns at the end of the path with raised eyebrows. 

 

"Dinner next sunday, yeah?" 

 

Liam nods. "I'll bring the chocolate pudding." 

 

Sarah smiles widely, cuddling in to Niall's side as they both watch Liam continue his path to the car. Louis' in the passenger seat now, messing with the radio and trying to wave goodbye to Niall at the same time. 

 

"You text El?" Liam asks. 

 

Louis nods, giving up on the radio and switching it off. "You guys wanna come in for a cuppa?" 

 

Liam's about to answer when Harry beats him to it. "I'd like to get home to Jenson, if you don't mind." 

 

"You can drop Hazza off first." Louis suggests. 

 

"Your priority." Harry says from the backseat. "You've got two people waiting for you." 

 

Liam's mind automatically goes to the empty flat he has waiting for him. It wasn't his fault that he was bottom of the priority list because he had no one waiting for him.  It wasn't his friends fault that he'd focused on his career rather than his love life. 

 

"Come to ours." Louis says, ignoring Harry's words. 

 

There's an ache in his chest that only hurts more when he see's the sympathy in Louis' eyes. "I think i'm gonna go home and sleep." 

 

"Okay." Louis says softly. "If that's what you want." 

 

They drive in silence after that, until they're pulling up outside Louis' house.

 

"Call me later." Louis demands, leaning across the gears to pull Liam in to a hug. 

 

Harry makes a noise of protest from the back of the car when Louis climbs out. Liam doesn't bother to hold back his laugh when Louis opens the back passenger door, to pull the younger lad in to a hug. 

 

The door to the house opens as Louis collects his bags from the boot. Eleanor waves at the two boys sitting in the car as Louis makes his way down the driveway. Liam waves back and bites back a smile as he spots the large bump present under her tight tank top. Louis lays is hand on the bump as he presses a kiss to Eleanor's cheek, whispering something that makes her giggle. 

Harry waits until Louis has gone inside before he climbs out of the back of the car and in to the front. 

 

"You'll have to direct me." Liam says as he turns the ignition. "I don't know.." 

 

"It's not far." Harry flicks on the radio but turns the volume down so it's barley background noise. 

 

Liam pulls away from Louis house, following Harry's mumbled instructions until they're pulling up outside an apartment block. 

 

"I'll give Lou your invitation." Harry says as Liam parks. "Promise you'll come." 

 

Liam nods and isn't shocked when Harry leans in just as Louis did. Unlike with Louis, he holds on tight. Unlike with Louis, he doesn't want to let go. Unlike with Louis, he wishes they weren't going to separate houses. 

 

Harry turns his face in to Liam's neck, lips ghosting the birthmark that resides there. Liam holds his breath, tightening his grip a little and closing his eyes. 

 

"Promise." He whispers. 

 

Then he reluctantly lets go, putting a good distance between the two of them. Harry glances him once, twice, three times before finally removing himself from the car. Once Harry had collected his stuff and begins to head towards the building, he drives off. He doesn't wait to make sure the boy gets inside safely, he doesn't wait for Harry's reunion. Unlike with the others boy, Liam doesn't want to see that other people can make Harry happy. 

 

When Liam finally gets inside his own apartment, he's greeted with silence. Nothing, not even a dog. He thinks he should get a dog, as he dumps his bag and drops his exhausted body on to the couch. 

 

Hours later he wakes up to his phone vibrating loudly from his coat pocket. It's Louis, who instantly starts ranting the minute Liam picks up the phone. Apparently Eleanor had her brother paint the nursery orange, as it's a neutral color and they don't know the sex of the baby. Louis hates it, apparently 'it looks like someone 'spray tanned the walls' and 'I feel like i've walked in to Willie Wanka's wet dream'. 

 

Liam hums in replies, letting Louis rant it out. Until Eleanor takes the phone, explains they're going to buy more paint tomorrow because she didn't think it would dry that dark. Liam offers words of support then talks to Louis and manages to calm him down. Sometimes being professional therapist isn't good when your friends take advantage. 

 

Louis comes over to watch football that night, while Eleanor has her brother there to paint the nursery. It's not news to anybody that Louis and Eleanor's brother don't get on. They'd had a huge bust up when Eleanor's brother's (now ex) girlfriend had slapped Eleanor for 'glaring at her'. When Eleanor's brother had taken the side of the girlfriend, Louis had taken an instant dislike to him. Now they can't even be in the same room as each other without a huge argument proceeding. 

"Harry says you're going to the wedding?" Louis asks, as Liam hands him another beer. 

 

Liam sighs as he settles back in to the couch. "How do I exactly tell him I don't want to go because i'm still completely in love with him and it's breaking my heart that he's marrying someone else." 

 

The confession is followed down by half of his beer bottle. Maybe he could drown himself in alcohol. It'd be less painful than going to the wedding of the guy he thought he'd spend the rest of his life with. 

 

"At least we're over the denial stage." Louis says. 

 

"Being in denial felt a lot less painful." Liam groans, leaning his head back against the couch and closing his eyes. 

 

Louis sighs, his fingers kneading Liam's shoulder. "I'm sorry." 

 

"It's not your fault." Liam gulps down the lump in his throat. 

 

"If I didn't love him so much I'd hate him." Louis admits. 

 

Liam opens his eyes, tired laugh leaving his throat. "I'd like to see anyone hate Harry." 

 

"That boy has got some weird likable power." Louis nods, moving his head down to Liam's shoulder. 

 

The ache has moved, he can feel it in his entire body now. Almost as if even his body can remember what it felt like to love Harry. It was painful enough to love him in thoughts, he didn't want to crave it too. 

 

"Tell me what to do?" Louis asks. 

 

Liam's breath shakes as he breathes and he tries to back down the tears.  It had been years, he didn't want it to affect him this much anymore. 

 

"Make me forget." 

 

It's Louis turn to crack now, gripping to Liam like he doesn't no any other way to hold the lad together. Liam feels a tear break the corner of his eye and travel down his cheek, he doesn't move to wipe it away. 

 

That's the only time he lets himself feel pain over Harry's wedding. It's the only time he breaks down in front of Louis. It's the only time he gives his mind a chance to think about the boy he loved. 

Liam distracts himself in the months leading up to the wedding, mostly with work. The others boys help, mostly Louis, who makes sure Liam is never once left alone with his thoughts. Zayn has him babysit the kids when he has free time, the two little monsters needing so much of his attention he doesn't have time to think. Most sunday's (his only day off) he goes to Niall's for food. Sarah has him have Oscar any time his hands are free, the four month old so lively, that he's to lost in the babies happiness to dwell on sadness. Sometimes he'll head down to Wolverhampton, visit his mum and talk to her about everything but his love life. Babysit for Nicola, and Skype Roo with his niece and nephews. 

 

So when the wedding is only a week away, he doesn't even realise. When Louis' coming in to his apartment, the entire clang following behind him. Liam knows something's wrong. 

 

Zia is placed on his lap because everyone know she's his favourite, she's so much like Zayn, he couldn't help but love her. Hassan cuddles up to his side and Sarah sits down with Oscar on her lap, to the left. 

 

"Stick the kettle on will you babe." Eleanor says, trying to fit her pregnant self in to Liam's ratty old recliner. 

 

Louis pats Liam's shoulder as he passes in to the kitchen. 

 

"Look Li-Li." Zia says, showing Liam the fake tattoo of a feather she has on her wrist. 

 

Liam lets an over-exaggerated gasp. "You have a tattoo?" 

 

"It's not real, silly." She giggles. "Daddy did it for me." 

 

"I'll have to talk to daddy." Liam says. "You're not allowed tattoos until you're eighteen, you either." 

 

Hassan blinks up at him tiredly, barley keeping up with the conversation. "I want tattoo's like Harry." 

 

"You want to be a etch-a-sketch?" Niall jokes, sat on the arm of the couch by his wife. 

"A what?" Zia asks. 

 

Niall shakes his head, looking across the room to Zayn who was sat at the kitchen table with Perrie. "Zayn Malik how does your child not know what a etch-a-sketch is?" 

 

"Because she wasn't born in the 90's." Perrie says. 

 

Liam laughs and then Zia follows suit, having no clue why they're laughing. Just knowing her mum said something that Liam assumed was funny. 

 

Zia giggles when Liam tickles her waist. "Promise you'll never grow up." 

 

"I want to live with peter pan in Neverland." Zia replies. 

 

"That's why you're my favourite." Liam whispers, aware of Hassan now asleep at his side. 

 

Louis appears a few minutes later, setting a mug in front of Liam and then in front of his very pregnant wife. Liam smiles thankfully, tightening his grip around Zia as she leans back in to him. 

 

Sarah hands Oscar to Niall and Liam's suddenly aware of the six pairs of eyes on him. "Come on then, why are you all here?" 

 

Louis' places cups in front of Zayn and Perrie. "Well.." 

 

Liam's eyes find him, following him as he puts the final cups on the coffee table for Sarah and himself. "Well?" 

 

Eleanor clears her throat, reaching for her bag resting on the floor and pulling something else. Louis moves over to her, taking the thing and coming over to Liam. 

 

It's an envelope, with Liam's name written in very familiar writing. "Is it?" 

 

Louis nods, settling himself down in front of Eleanor with his back resting against her legs. Zia makes a noise of complaint as Liam lifts his arm to open the envelope. 

The first thing he see's when he pulls the card from inside, is a photo of Harry with the guy Liam assumes his Jenson. Harry's curled up in to Jenson's side, the older man's hand resting splayed on the curve of Harry's back. Harry's face is facing the camera, his usual big dimple grin on display. Jenson, however, is looking down at Harry. The blonde of his fringe covering his eyes, as a fond smile covers his lips. 

They look happy, really happy. It hurts, it's all Liam never wanted to see, everything he's been trying to ignore since Harry had said he'd met the guy. The rest of the invitation goes ignored as he it falls from his hand, he buries his face in Zia's curly blonde hair. Trying to keep himself under control for the sake of the children cuddle up to him. 

 

"Li?" 

 

Liam lifts his head, resting his chin against Zia's head instead. 

 

"The wedding is next friday." Louis tells him. "Harry thinks you're going." 

 

"I don't." Liam closes his eyes. "I don't think I can." 

 

A hand his on his arm, thumb rubbing gently across his wrist and Sarah's gentle voice coos. "No one's going to make you, babe." 

 

"I think, maybe, you should tell Haz." 

 

Liam whines, closing his eyes tighter, telling Harry he's not going will be just as hard as going. 

 

Zayn sighs. "Just tell him you can't go, he'll understand." 

 

"I promised him." Liam sighs, finally opening his eyes. "I promised him I would go." 

 

"Why would you do that?" Louis groans. 

 

Eleanor runs her fingers through Louis' hair. "He'll understand." 

 

"Harry doesn't like broken promises." Liam shakes his head. "That's why..." 

 

The memory burns in his mind, there was yelling, lots of it. Then the yelling stopped and there was nothing. There was silence and the silence burned him more than any words ever could. 

 

"I'm gonna take the kids back to ours." Perrie says, standing from the kitchen table. 

"I'll come with." Sarah says,  taking Oscar back from Niall 

 

Perrie picks up Zia from Liam's lap. "It'll get better, pet." 

 

Liam nods, trying to control himself in case the kids wake up. Perrie somehow manages to lift Hassan up as well, the twins still fast asleep in her grip. Louis jumps up to get the door, kissing both the twins as Perrie passes. 

 

"You know where I am if you need me." Sarah says, running the fingers of her free hand through Liam's fringe and pressing her lips to his forehead. 

 

Niall kisses his wife goodbye and Louis closes the door behind them. Sitting down beside Liam on the couch, his arm pulling Liam in to his side. 

 

"I'm going for a lie down." Eleanor informs them, lifting herself (with great hardship) from the chair. Then she heads in the direction of Liam's bedroom, leaving it to the boys to comfort their friend. 

 

"You can't break the promise." Zayn decides, as he moves to the couch. "You go to the wedding.." 

 

Liam whines in disapproval. 

 

"Hear me out, you go to the wedding..." Zayn sighs when Louis glares at him. "You don't go to the ceremony because that's to intimate. Plus Harry will be to wrapped up to even notice you weren't there anyway." 

 

Liam closes his eyes and drops his head back against Louis' arm. 

 

"You go to the reception but just long enough for Harry to see you." Zayn explains. "Once he's seen you, then you can leave." 

 

"And i'll come with because I hate weddings." Louis coaxes.  

 

Liam rolls his head to the side, opening one eye. "You love weddings." 

 

"Not this one.." Louis shrugs. 

 

Zayn squeezes Liam's knee. "Does that sound easier?" 

 

"Not really." 

 

Niall grunts, moving across the room to the kitchen. "How about we ball gag Harry and tell him he can't go through with the wedding." 

 

"Niall!" Louis scolds. 

 

"This is bullshit." Niall exclaims. "None of us  like Jenson, anyway." 

 

"Is Harry happy?" 

 

Liam stares at Niall until the irish lad makes eye contact with him. Niall begins to shake his head, then drops his guilty eyes to the floor and slowly nods. 

 

"Then it doesn't matter what we think of Jenson." Liam insists. 

 

They drop the conversation after that. Louis suggets fifa and they spend the rest of the night reverting to their teenage selves. Until Eleanor comes out of the bedroom, demanding to be taken home. Zayn gets a phone call from Perrie saying the twins what him to read to them before bed. Niall decides to go home because he had spoken to Sarah for more than an hour, and there's a slight chance he might die if that happens. 

 

It's not until Liam's left alone that he lifts the dropped invitation from the floor, his eyes scanning over it. 'Harry Styles and Jenson Daniels. Request the honour of your presence at their marriage. December fourteenth. Clivden House." 

 

Liam's breath catches as he reads the last line. "He wouldn't." 

 

The rationality seems to be gone from his mind as he grabs his keys from the hook, heading out of his apartment. The entire drive he's lost in a memory. Two teenagers, cuddled together in an apartment with no heating. Talking about a future they thought they had, talking about a life they thought they belonged too.

 

Liam hadn't been to Jenson's apartment since the day Harry had moved in. Louis had dragged him, to help Harry carry boxes from Louis' car up to the apartment. It was expensive, the entire block was apartment. It was situated in the end of London that Liam could never afford. Louis had drove them that day and Liam barley remembers the way from when he'd dropped Harry off months ago. It takes him a long time to find it but when he does, he remembers the floor and door like the back of his hand. 

 

There's anger in his blood when he pounds on the door. That anger seems to evaporate when Harry opens the door. His eyes bloodshot and curls how they go when he tugs them when he's stressed. 

 

"What happened?" Liam asks. 

 

Harry sniffles, rubbing at his eyes with the sleeve of his jumper. "We were arguing about our cufflinks matching and he just walked out." 

 

"Oh." Liam mumbles, for the lack of anything better to say. 

 

It's another little sniffle that has Liam stepping forward and wrapping Harry in a hug. "I'm sure he'll come back." 

 

The words sound foreign on his tongue, his heart fighting his conscience to the best of it's ability. Harry makes himself small in Liam's arms, like he always did. Liam pushes him back, not loosening his grip around the younger lad. Once he's in the apartment, he kicks the door closed and wraps him arms around Harry tighter. 

 

Harry buries his face in to the skin of Liam's neck, letting out a shaky breath. Liam holds on until Harry's breath is coming out normal again and then he reluctantly let's go. Harry stands in front of him, awkwardly fiddling with the end of his sleeve. 

 

"Why?" Liam blurts. 

 

The adorable confused face Harry makes only fuels his anger, he shouldn't be finding him cute at this moment in time. 

 

"The venue." Liam elaborates. "How could you?" 

 

"I didn't.." Harry stumbles. "He booked it, he didn't give me a choice. It was a surprise." 

 

"You could have said no." Liam exclaims. "You could have said no, it's not that hard." 

 

Harry manages to make his large frame look small as he whispers. "I'm sorry."

 

"God, Harry." Liam breathes out shakily. "I can't..." 

 

"You have to come." 

 

"I don't know if I can." Liam admits. "Not there. Not there, Harry." 

 

"You're my best friend, Liam." Harry whimpers. "You have to come. You have to." 

 

Liam rubs a hand down his face. The situation is to familiar, only the words are different. Harry being just out of reach but pleading with Liam to do something. It's like he's been transported back two years, to when this beautiful boy was his and he did nothing but let him leave. 

 

"I'll try." Liam offers, at least then it's not a promise. 

 

Harry nods, accepting that as enough. 

 

"I should go." Liam reaches out, fingertips barley brush Harry's arm. "You gonna be okay?" 

 

Harry nods once more, bringing his arms up to cross them over his chest. Liam lets out a shaky nod of his own and turns on his foot, heading out of the apartment. 

Louis calls him that night, apologises a lot about not telling Liam about the venue. They don't talk for long, he's to emotionally exhausted to think on the subject any longer. They end the phone call with Louis making Liam talk to his unborn child. Liam hangs up when he hears Eleanor giggling followed by kissing noises. 

The next few days, he fills his every hour with clients. Filling his life with other people's problems and ignoring his own. When friday finally rolls around, he almost forgets to leave work early. It's only because Louis leaves ten messages with his receptionist and she cancels all his clients from four onwards, that he actually leaves the office. 

Sarah had got him a shirt, after badgering him through text until he told her his size. It's a simple white and he pairs it with dark jeans, black oxfords and a thin black tie. 

 

Then he orders a taxi because there's a 99% chance he's going to need alcohol at some point tonight. Louis' text him eight times since he's left work, asking what's he's doing step by step. Liam sends him a quick text letting him know he's on his way and tries to take calming breaths as he sits in the back of the cab. 

There's snow on the ground, that Liam doesn't notice until he's slipping as he steps out of the cab. The cabby's laughing from inside and Liam's slams his door a little too hard behind him. The venue looks beautiful, more beautiful than Liam could have ever imagined. It throbs, his heart, that this could have been him. This could have been his arrival to his own wedding, he could have the chance to marry the one person he's ever truly loved. All these could haves, lost in a cowards past. 

 

After a slippery walk to the door, he text Louis, to let him know he's arrived. Not really wanting to walk in to a wedding party, half filled with people who knew exactly who he was. Sympathetic looks from his friends were bad enough, from people who loved the person he'd once hurt, they were far worse. 

 

Louis meets him in the small hall outside where the reception is being held. "Okay?" 

 

"Yeah, it's really something isn't it?" 

 

Louis nods, slipping his arm around his friends waist. "You have great taste, Mr Payne." 

 

Liam gives him a pained smile and allows himself to be led inside. The inside is exactly how Liam pictured it, apart from a few bits that were obviously not to his taste. Like the red flowers at the center of the table, that don't go with the blue at all. The way the tables are set out, all surrounding the dance floor, like it was the source of entertainment. Circle tables, seating ten, no more or no less. So it looks filled but not to full. 

 

"Drink?" Louis nudges him. 

 

Liam nods instantly, not letting his eyes scan the room for the particular person. "Please." 

 

"C'mon." Louis whispers, tugging Liam in the direction of the bar. 

 

Niall's got his seat for the night, a stool right at the end of the bar. Liam presses up against the Irish lads side when they reach him, seeking comfort in anyone who will offer. Niall offers instantly, rubbing Liam's back with a flat palm. 

 

"Two beers please, Paul." Niall calls to the bartender. 

 

Louis boxes Liam in on the other side. "Do you remember when we went to your Aunt's wedding and got completely wasted on Smirnoff ice?" 

 

Liam's laugh is strained. "You tried to get it on with my cousin, Angie." 

 

"She was hot." Louis exclaims and then to Niall. "She was hot, right?" 

 

"Wasn't she like thirty odd?" 

 

"So, Harry's mum's hot and she's passed thirty." Louis shrugs. 

 

The mention of Anne reminds Liam that she's probably in the room, that she might want to talk to him. In fact, Gemma is here probably here to and Liam knows she wants to talk to him. 

 

Niall pinches his side. "Stop panicking, they're to busy to come and bother you." 

 

"Yea, Gem is holding Harry's hair while he throws up and Anne is getting hit on by every man in the room." Louis jokes, it doesn't make Liam feel any better. 

 

"You're wishing you didn't come, aren't you?" Niall asks, after thanking Paul for the beers. 

 

"I need to leave." Liam concurs. "Do you know where Harry is?" 

 

"He was dancing with Zia last time I saw him." 

 

Three pairs of eyes look over to the dance floor but there's too many bodies to spot Harry among them. Even if he is the size of a lamppost. Liam pulls himself from Niall's side and the other lad reluctantly drops his hand. 

 

"Do you want me to come with?" Louis asks. 

 

Liam shakes his head. "I need to do this on my own." 

 

Louis squeezes his bicep before moving aside to let Liam past. The wedding is packed, with faces he knows and some he doesn't. Gladly people are to distracted or too nice, to bother him as he makes his way across the room. Once he reaches the dance floor, he looks around for Harry and listens for Zia distinct giggle. Coming up blank on both. 

 

"Liam Payne." 

 

The voice is familiar and it sounds upset.  When he turns around he comes face to face with Gemma Styles, and she doesn't look happy to see him. 

 

"I'm surprised to see you here." 

 

Liam shrugs. "Do you know where your brother is?" 

 

"With his husband." Gemma snarls. 

Liam clenches his jaw so his fists stay unclenched. "Look, if you're not going to be any help then I'm just going to.." 

 

"What are you doing here?" She spits. "Did you not cause him enough pain the three years you had him. Did you really have to come and ruin it?  Just because he's with someone else, that gives him what you should have gave him?" 

 

Liam used to admire how straight forward Gemma was, that she never held back. At this moment in time, he wish she had no idea who he is. 

 

"Harry's happy and it's not with you." She smirks. "How much does that suck?" 

 

Liam takes in a deep breath, trying to control to emotions at one time. One that's angry with Gemma, for stating the truth. The other that feels like crying because of how sad it is, that it is the truth. 

 

"You're not even worth the breath." 

 

"Gemma Anne Styles!" Anne scolds, voice coming from over Liam's shoulder. 

 

Liam doesn't feel like he can turn around, he really doesn't want to see the disappointment in her eyes. Those words were harder to accept from Gemma. If Anne ever spoke to him like that, he doesn't think he could handle it. 

 

"Liam, dear." Anne places a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Don't listen to this foolish girl, okay?" 

 

"Mum.." Gemma scolds. 

 

 "I know you're protecting your brother but that's no way to go about it." Anne tells her daughter.

 

Gemma huffs, shoots Liam a glare before storming off. Liam let's a breath loose from his chest and unclenches his jaw. Only to have it clench again when Anne squeezes his shoulder. 

 

"Can we chat?" 

 

Liam warily nods and follows away from the dance floor towards a table. It's clearly Harry's families table, there's aunts and uncles Liam's met before. Some of them smile at him as he sits down, others glare. Robin is the chair to the left of Anne as she takes her seat and she gestures for Liam to take the one on the right. 

 

The place mat in front of him reads 'Gemma Styles' and there's a penis drawn next to it, that's clearly been done by Harry. Liam shakes his head, he shouldn't feel this fond. 

 

"I know Harry made you promise to come tonight." Anne informs him. 

 

Liam fiddles with the name tag. "I've broken enough promises when it comes to him." 

 

"That may be true." Anne sighs. "But that doesn't mean you have to put yourself through this, Liam." 

 

"Emotional torture isn't healthy, son." Robin add his two sense. 

 

Liam snorts, mumbling a small 'Harry would know'. Anne is frowning at him when he looks up and Robin's hands  is squeezing hers that rests on the table. 

 

"I'm sorry." He tells them. "I'm sorry for not loving him as much as he deserved. I'm sorry for ever hurting your son. I'm sorry for taking advantage. I'm sorry. Gemma was right, he's happy now. It might not be with me, that might hurt like hell. But he deserves so much, he deserves the world and I wasn't ready to give it to him. Harry doesn't wait for anything and I should have known that he wouldn't wait for me." 

 

Then he stands up because he doesn't want to see their reaction, he doesn't want to hear it either.

 

"Excuse me." He extends to the table before turning on his foot. 

 

Liam doesn't look for Harry but he finds him, when he's trying to escape the party and find fresh air. There's a little balcony, just off the back of the house. It was where Liam imagined having their photos, black and white, the contrast of their black suits against the snow in the background. 

 

"Hey.." He offers quietly, trying not to spook the other boy. 

 

Harry turns around slowly and Liam's breath catches in his throat. If there's one thing Liam could never imagine, it was how perfect Harry would look. The suit he's wearing fits him perfectly, the trousers making his legs look longer than ever. A jacket that pulls taught across his broad shoulder, a white shirt that clings to his abs. With his hair gelled back just the way Liam likes it. 

Liam lets his eyes wander and that's how he spots it, the gold band now donning his left ring finger. They're outside but Liam feels like he can't get any breath to his lungs. 

 

Harry steps forward, subconsciously using his thumb and fingers to cover the ring. "Li.." 

 

"Why...why did you make me come?" Liam whimpers. 

 

"I didn't...I didn't want to...It wasn't to hurt you." Harry objects. "I wouldn't do that, Liam." 

 

Liam feels like dropping to his knees and sobbing. "Then why?" 

 

"You're my best friend." 

 

"Was." Liam cries. "I was your best friend. Too much...too much has happened, Harry." 

 

Harry's shaking his head as if to disregard the words. "We've always been best friends." 

 

"Well, you should have thought about that when you kissed me." 

 

It's a low blow, a really blow, considering all the shit Liam put Harry through. But he's upset, he's angry, he's all these different emotions; he doesn't know what one to settle on. Anger seems the easiest option - the safest; no one can harm you if you're angry. 

 

"I did." Harry spits back. "And that's why for days,  I questioned why you kissed me back. You were always the cautious one, Liam. Always the one to take care of us all." 

 

The 'but you forgot to take care of me ' goes unsaid but it's there. Now he knows why Harry wants him as a best friend because Liam was always a much better friend, than he ever was a boyfriend. 

 

"I'm sorry." Liam relents and then. "I shouldn't have come." 

 

"Please don't say that." Harry whispers. 

 

The fact Liam can hear the words clearly makes him realise how close they are. "You should get back to your guests." 

 

"One dance?" Harry requests. 

 

"Here?" 

 

"All of my family are inside." Harry explains, the 'most of them want your balls' going unsaid as well. 

 

Liam slowly reaches out for Harry's hip, his other entwining with the one Harry lifts up. "One dance." 

 

"Is it how you pictured it?" Harry asks as they moved around slowly. 

 

'I pictured it as me putting that ring on your finger' he wants to say but instead closes his eyes, dropping his forehead against Harry's. Harry hums as they slow dance around the balcony. It takes Liam a moment to recognize it as 'you're the reason I come home' by Ron Pope. The song Liam had fell in love with when he was working two jobs and trying not to fail uni. When he would come to Harry's, who was still in his first year and a lot of less classes than Liam. The younger boy would either be cooking or naked in bed when Liam got home. Most of the time, having that to go home to got Liam through the day. It was their song, it was everything he missed. 

 

"People dream of what you and me have found effortlessly." Liam sings, his voice cracking towards the end. 

 

Harry lets out a shaky breath and Liam tightens his grip on the other boys hand. The cold metal of the wedding band pressing between his fingers is like a reminder. Harry isn't his anymore, he isn't the person Liam goes home to anymore. The empty flat is all he has to go home and he never did get that dog. 

 

They pull apart slowly as hums the last line of the song, their hands the last things to part. Liam tries to calculate Harry's expression but the other lad seems unable to stick to one emotion. 

 

A patter of little feet is what has Liam finally take his gaze from Harry's face. 

 

"Uncle.." Zia yells stopping mid sentence when she notices Liam. "Li-Li!" 

 

Liam pushes a smile to his lips as he turns around to face the young girl. "Hey ladybug, don't you look beautiful." 

 

Zia curls her fingers around the end of her blue puffy dress, spinning it slightly. 

 

"I think this beautiful flower girl owes me a dance." Liam offers out his hand. 

 

Zia takes it delightedly and begins to drag him back towards the party. Liam glances over his shoulder, to find Harry watching them leave. An emotion finally decided upon his face--forgiveness. 

 

By the end of the night Liam's feet are hurting from dancing so much. After Zia dragged him back inside to dance, it seemed everyone wanted a turn. Even Sarah put him through torture of dancing to backstreet boys when they came on. Then when Louis had found out he hadn't left, the older boy refused to let Liam leave the dance floor. 

 

By the time Perrie, Eleanor and Sarah were leaving with the kids, he was collapsing on to one of the bar stools. 

 

"Someone had a good night." Perrie. 

 

Liam groans but lifts himself up enough to press a kiss to a sleeping Zia's head. "I don't think it's good if I can't feel my feet." 

 

"We'll just get you drunk enough that you won't need to feel your feet." Louis comments, arm hooked around a half asleep Eleanor's waist. 

 

"I think you should take El home, Lou." Liam says, dropping back down on the stool. 

 

"Already covered, bro." Louis says, pressing a kiss to his wife's head. Eleanor mumbles something about his jackass but doesn't stop herself leaning in to the touch. 

 

Zayn appears behind Perrie with Hassan curled up in his arms, snoring softly against his father's neck. "I'm just gonna help Perrie to the car, i'll be back." 

 

"You'd think they'd never been aloud to a party before." Perrie laughs. 

 

Sarah shakes her head, swaying softly even though Oscar is already fast asleep. "I lost my Ni during the ceremony." 

 

"I'll bet he's around her somewhere." Liam comments. "He's go some kind of instinct when it comes to you." 

 

"Jealousy is not a good look on you, Payno." Niall grins, bounding up to the group. 

 

"It never was." Liam yawns, leaning more on to the bar. 

 

The three families head towards the exit and Liam as left alone. The bar suddenly looking like a very appealing pillow. Somehow he thinks the world truly hates him, when spots Gemma heading straight in his direction. 

 

"I'm too tired to put up a fight." He admits once she's in reach. "If you're going to kill me, I'm at your mercy." 

 

"Do you think if Harry had of waited, you two would still be together?" She asks, settling in the stool beside him. 

 

"Maybe." Liam sighs. "I don't know, I'm too tired for mind games." 

 

"If Harry would have waited..." Gemma says clearly ignoring him. "Do you think this would have been your wedding?" 

 

"Probably." Liam shrugs, dropping his arms on to the bar, shortly followed by his head. 

 

Gemma pats him on the back gently. "Sorry I was harsh on you earlier." 

 

"I deserved it." Liam mumbles in to his arms. 

 

"Maybe." She agrees. "But it takes two to tango and - it takes two to bring a relationship to an end as well." 

 

Liam doesn't reply, just buries his face further into his arms, he really should have left when he had the chance. Gemma orders them both a vodka double. Then makes him drink it before the other lads return, so she doesn't have to buy them all a round too. Louis notices anyway and demands if she won't buy him a drink, she has to at least buy a shot. Which when she buys a round, he makes Liam drink as well. 

In fact, that's how the rest of the night goes, everyone forcing drink down his throat. By the time it's 2am and all the taxi's are being ordered, he's more than tipsy. Louis, Zayn, Niall and Liam are all stumbling down the steps and outside. Niall's singing some old Irish song rather loudly. While Louis argues with Zayn over marvel characters, that haven't been around since the 60's. Liam rests his head on Zayn's shoulder and keeps a tight grip around Louis' waist, trying to focus on not throwing up. 

 

"Hey, you wankers could at least say goodbye." Harry shouts from somewhere behind them. 

 

Liam tries to look but his head spins to much when he lifts it, making the nausea wort. The conclusion is he'll wait for Harry to come to them or one of the other lads to notice him calling. 

 

"Oi! Drunkens." 

 

"I think that's us lads." Louis slurs. 

 

 Zayn giggles for no reason at all and the four of them somehow manage to turn around together, without falling over. Harry's stood at the top of the steps, with a hand around his waist, that belongs to the man beside him. 

 

Liam throws up all over the four of their shoes. 

 

"Nice one, Liam." Niall chants. 

 

Louis' voice sounds more scolding when he looks down at his leather Italian loafers. "These cost eighty quid, Li!" 

 

"Sorry." Liam mumbles, wiping his mouth on his sleeve before burying his face in Zayn's neck. 

 

Zayn (who seems to sober up anytime something like this happens) wraps around him and tugs him in for comfort. Liam can hear people talking to him, some wondering if he's okay, others complaining about the smell. All he wants to do is go home and try not to choke in his sleep. 

 

Harry's voice is closer now, asking if he's okay. Liam refused to lift his head and moves so his arms are both around Zayn, rather than him and Louis. 

 

"Drink some water and lay on your side." Harry whispers against Liam's ear. 

 

There's familiar lips brushing his temple, then a voice unfamiliar to him, calling Harry's name. Liam clings to Zayn like he's his metaphorical lifeboat keeping him from drowning in emotions. 

 

"Let's get you home." Zayn soothes, rubbing Liam's back gentle. 

 

The ride in the cab is a blur, most of what Liam remembers is the cabbie telling Niall to stop messing with the meter thing. Then there's two people helping him up to his apartment. One person leaves, while the other takes off Liam's shoes and helps him in to bed. Liam's glad he could fall asleep without any thought of the nights events. 

 

The morning after is hell and it's even worse because apparently Louis was left to look after him. Louis, who can barley take care of himself when he's hungover. The older lad demands coffee and muffins, both things Liam doesn't have stocked in his cupboard. When Liam refused to move, he takes to calling Eleanor. Who must love him quite a lot because not an hour later, she appears in Liam's apartment with coffee and muffins. 

 

"You want anything?" She asks, stroking her fingers through Liam's hair like his mother used to when he was ill. 

 

Liam doesn't open his eyes but does whispers as politely as he can. "Some water, please." 

 

Eleanor disappears then reappears with a glass of water, some paracetamol and toast 'just if he fancies'. Liam wishes he could thank the person who allowed him to have all these amazing people in his life. 

 

"It's just toast, Li." Eleanor laughs, making him realise he said it aloud. 

 

"I love you, El." Louis grins from the other side of the couch. "You're the best." 

 

"You should just be glad the baby was craving muffins or you'd get nothing." Eleanor shrugs, squeezing herself between the two of them. 

 

Liam's eyes find her round belly, that looks about ready to pop. "How many weeks now?" 

 

"Due dates two days before Christmas." Eleanor tells him. "So any day now, really." 

 

"I record.." Louis starts with a mouth full of muffin. "They'll either be the next christ or they'll be born on some amazing person's birthday." 

 

"It'd be pretty cool if they were born on Jesus' birthday." Liam nods. 

 

Louis frowns. "You're nasty when you're hungover." 

 

"It'd be cool if they were born on your birthday too, Lou." Liam concedes. 

 

Louis beams like a little kid who had just gotten his own way. Eleanor rolls her eyes, dropping her head down to Louis' shoulders and closing her eyes. 

 

The two of them stay for the rest of the day, making Liam watch crappy soaps and eating him out of his house. They leave just as it's getting dark, something about Christmas shopping tomorrow. Liam zoned out after Louis started talking about needing these new shoes that had just came out. 

 

Liam spends the rest of the weekend doing nothing, then goes back to distracting himself with work. December is his busiest month, as most people find themselves suicidal in December. Something to do with the holidays and the weather. Those who are lonely in the warmer months, feel 70% more lonely during the holiday season. Up until a week before Christmas, he finds himself getting up at six and not returning to his bed until two the next morning. The hospital also has him on call, having him come in for attempting suicides, to talk to the victims. 

 

"What are you doing for Christmas?" Louis asks, one day when Liam gets a chance to have lunch. 

 

"I don't know." Liam shrugs. "I'll probably go home." 

 

He probably won't because his mum and dad usually spend Christmas with the Styles' family and he's not putting himself through that. Nicola's taking the kids to her husband's family and Roo's in Canada, she hasn't spent Christmas with them for years. 

 

"Won't that be torture?" Louis frowns. "You could always come home with us, you know mum loves when you come." 

 

"You've got enough on your hands with El." Liam states. "I'll be fine, stop worrying." 

 

Louis drops the subject then but not completely, he keeps questioning Liam every day up until the 23rd. Liam's sat in his apartment, eating a takeaway pizza. When his phone buzzes, he drops the pizza, automatically thinking it's a call from the hospital. When Louis' ringtone follows the sound and it's a text that simply says 'final chance x' which he replies with 'have fun in donnie x'. 

 

Liam's puts himself on call for Christmas Eve and Christmas day, using that as his excuse to his mother as why he's not coming home this year. Louis calls him on Christmas eve and Liam thinks it's because he hasn't rang to say happy birthday. Even though it's tradition for him not to ring Louis until one minute to twelve. Most years Louis ruins it and he's not expecting sobbing to come down the phone when he picks it up. 

 

"Lou, Louis." Liam panics. "What's wrong?" 

 

"I'm a dad." Louis blurts. "I've got a beautiful baby boy." 

 

Liam lets out a breath in relief. "Congratulations." 

 

"I'm a dad, Liam." Louis repeats. "I'm responsible for someone's life." 

 

"Yes, you are." Liam grins. "How's El?" 

 

"She's good, yeah. The labour was really quick and she's sleeping right now." Louis explains. "He's so beautiful, Li. You have no idea how in love with him you're gonna be." 

 

"I'm sure I will." 

 

"He's gonna be such a charmer." Louis sighs happily. "I've got to ring the other lads but I wanted you to be the first to know." 

 

"I'm so happy for you." Liam beams. "Give him a big kiss from me and I'll see you when you get back." 

 

"Okay, love you." Louis tells him, refusing to hang up until Liam says it back. 

 

The rest of Christmas even is spent going back and forth from the hospital, along with snapchats from Louis of the baby. By the time Liam falls in to bed, it's already Christmas morning. 

 

"Merry Christmas." He tells the empty room, letting sleep consume him. 

 

The next morning he wakes up it's to texts from the lads, his family and about fifty snapchats from Louis. He replies with usual 'Happy Christmas' and sends Louis snapchat of himself cooking breakfast. Then he leaves his phone in the living room as he takes a long shower and gets dressed. When grabs his phone from the docking station, there's a missed call from the hospital. 

 

Apparently a guy in his late twenties had tried to jump of tower bridge. They wanted Liam to come in and have a chat with him before they send him home under police surveillance. When he arrives at the hospital, the nurse doesn't lead him to the usual room his clients are kept in. She leads him in to a hospital room, where a young guy lays on a bed, his arm in a cast. 

 

"Broke it while trying to break free of the guy who.." The guy air quotes. "Saved me." 

 

Liam gives a nod to the nurse to let her know she can leave and moves to sit in the chair beside the bed. 

 

"You're the guys who's going to classify me as mental, right?" 

 

"I'm just here if you need to chat." Liam explains. 

 

"What do you want me to chat about? The fact I'd rather be dead with my family rather than spending every fucking Christmas in a house alone." 

 

"If that's what you want to talk about." 

 

The guys eyes him curiously. "Can I ask you a question?" 

 

Liam nods. 

 

"Do you have a family?" 

 

"I have a mother, father and siblings if that's what your referring too." Liam answers. 

 

"That's not what I'm referring too." The guy sighs. "Do you have kids? A wife? A family you need to protect, people who depend on you to stay alive. Do you have a daughter who looks up at you in agony, begging you to take the pain a way. Do you have a baby boy whose crying his eyes out in his car seat because he doesn't have a clue what's going on. Do you have a wife who's pleading with you not to leave them alone on the side of the road. Did you leave your family in the middle of nowhere because you thought if you'd walk a few miles, you'd be able to save your little girls life.." 

 

The guys sobbing now and Liam knows it's best not to touch. Victims of trauma react to things in different ways but when asked about the trauma itself, there's not a lot of people who want to be comforted. Especially if they have survivors guilt. More likely if they're men. 

 

"I should have been charged with murder." The guy cries. "I killed three people that day. I left them in a car that was leaking petrol. I left them to burn alive while I watched it happen from a petrol station." 

 

"It's not your fault." Liam tells him. 

 

The guys glares at him. "Bullshit, it isn't my fault." 

 

"Do you have other family?" 

 

"I've got my mum." He nods. "She lives in Brighton." 

 

Liam stands then, reaching out to squeeze the man's shoulder. "Go to Brighton,  go and see your mum. Then when or if you come back, give me a ring. My name's Liam Payne, my practice is under the same name. The hospital will give you my number, if you ask." 

 

"That's it?" 

 

"Everyone deserves to live and no one should spend their Christmas in a hospital wing." Liam shrugs. "What else do you want me to say?" 

 

"I thought you'd chat some psychological bullshit." The man shrugs. 

 

"I could." Liam agrees. "It'd take time and you wouldn't listen anyway. I can tell you this though: those three angels you have looking over you, they deserve to watch you live. You should live form them - not die for them." 

 

This time when Liam makes a move to leave, the man says nothing. The nurse on reception greets him as he passes, offering a Christmas cookie. Liam happily takes one, offering her a Merry Christmas in return. 

 

Liam pops in to the little corner shop on his way home, he buys loads of crappy food and a crate of beer. The guy behind the counter smiles sorrowful at him. Liam only smiles and says a 'Merry Christmas' while bagging his produce. 

 

There's christmas songs on the radio that he hums to while driving the rest of the way home. The chorus of New York Fairytale is on repeat in his head as he climbs the stairs to his apartment. 

 

"And the bells were ringing out for Christmas day." He sings, searching for his keys. 

 

Liam almost jumps out of skin when he notices someone blocking his entrance to his apartment. For a moment he thinks it's a tramp, going by all the ripped clothes donning the persons body. 

 

"Harry?" He asks, never forgetting those familiar curls. 

 

Harry's head lifts slowly, the state of his face causing Liam to drop to his knees. There's a cut on his lip, blood dried from it on his chin. His eyes are completely blood shot, the left one almost swelled shut. "Fuck." 

 

"Hey." Harry whispers brokenly. 

 

"Christ, what happened?" Liam questions, softly brushing his thumbs across the younger lads cheeks. 

 

Harry closes his eyes, shaking his head. Liam sighs, knowing he won't get from Harry what he doesn't want to tell. Instead of pushing the subject, he helps the other lad to his feet, wincing himself when Harry lets out a small cry of pain. 

Harry's trembling in his grip as he opens the door and he can barley walk two steps without having to stop to take a breath. It takes them at least a few minutes to make it to the couch. Liam helps him down on to it gently, settling on his knees in front of the couch. 

 

"Who did this?" Liam demands. 

 

There's no answer, only shaky breaths of pain. 

 

"Harry.." Liam pushes.

 

Still no answer. 

 

"Was it...was it Jenson?" 

 

Harry doesn't reply but he does wince at the mention of the name. Liam's blood boils and he stands instantly, ready to go and kill that bastard. 

 

"No, stay." Harry reaches for him. "Liam!" 

 

He looks between the door and the broken boy on his couch. "Harry.." 

 

"Just lay with me, please." Harry begs, wincing as moves on to his side. 

 

 He's cautious as he sits down on the small space left on the couch. Harry makes a noise of complaint but Liam just brushes a few curls from his forehead, trying to figure out how this could happen. 

 

"We need to get you cleaned up." Liam says but Harry grips his wrist, refusing to let him leave. 

 

They sit in silence until Harry's breath stops coming out in painful shakes and start to come out more even. Liam doesn't move until he's sure the other lad is asleep. He goes to the kitchen and fills a cooking bowl with warm water and goes to grab a cloth from the cupboard. The cloth Harry had wrapped around his wrist that last night at the camp site, is trapped beneath the cleaner ones. Liam tugs it out, letting the red fabric slip through his fingers. Then looks over to the boy lay curled up on his couch.  'Always the one to take care of all of us' the words burn in his mind like a memorial tattoo. 

 

It was his first instinct to ring Louis (after he'd washed all the dry blood from Harry's face and checked he wasn't to critically hurt) but there's three snapchats on his phone from the lad, reminding him why he can't. Harry probably wouldn't want him to, not when Louis' ecstatic over the birth of his son. 

 

Instead Liam gets a change of clothes for Harry, laying them on his bed for when Harry wakes. Then he settles himself on the ratty old recliner, turns the TV on it's lowest volume and tries to keep himself from wanting to murder Jenson. 

 

Harry comes around just in time for the annual Christmas pantomime on ITV. Liam offers him the shower, clean clothes and something to eat. Harry says 'no' to all three. The only thing he does say yes to his a cup of tea, which Liam doesn't hesitate to make. 

 

That's how the rest of their Christmas goes, drinking tea and watching crappy TV. They fall asleep, with Liam on the recliner and Harry curled up on the couch. 

Which is why he wakes up with a bad crick in his neck. Harry's still in the ripped clothes from the day before and it make's him wince just look at them. This time when he thinks about calling Louis, he actually does so. Stepping outside on to the small balcony attached to his balcony, stealing a cigarette from the pack Zayn has hidden out there. 

 

"Liam!" Louis answers happily. "Listen to this, it's the cutest." 

 

Liam hadn't had chance to open his mouth when he's met with a tiny little gurgle noise. 

 

"He's been doing it all morning, it's like he's trying to talk. I bet he's going to be a genius. What a keeper, El's brain and my good looks." Louis rambles. 

 

"Lou.." Liam tries. 

 

"I can't wait for you to meet him, Li." Louis continues. "Zia's no longer going to be your favourite." 

 

Liam takes a long drag from the cigarette burning in his hands. "I don't have favourites." 

 

"You will now." 

 

"Lou.." Liam watches the smoke mix with the cold air of his breath.

 

Louis goes silent, clearly understanding the tone of Liam's voice. 

 

"Harry's here." 

 

"What? Why?" Louis questions. 

 

Liam takes in another intoxicating breath, letting the smoke escape as he speaks. "Something happened." 

 

"We're just about to leave Donnie." Louis says, not needing anymore of an explanation. "I'll get El and the baby settled, then I'll come straight over. Okay?" 

 

"Yeah." Liam replies, watching the end of the cigarette burn. 

 

Louis lets out a stressed breath and Liam instantly feels guilty. "Take care of him, Li. That's one thing you know how to do." 

 

"Yeah." Liam repeats and they end the call. 

 

Harry stills on the couch when Liam steps back inside, his eyes are open but he doesn't register Liam's presence. 

 

"We need to get you showered and in some clean clothes." Liam tells him, settling himself on the arm of the couch. 

 

There's no reply but Harry does moves to press his cheek against Liam's thigh. 

 

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" He asks, gently raking his fingers through Harry's curls. 

 

Harry shakes his head, reaching out to grab Liam's free hand. Liam sighs, allowing the younger lad to intertwine their fingers. A few more minutes of silence and he decides that he really needs to get Harry out of those clothes. For Harry's sake and his own. 

 

"C'mon." He prompts, moving slowly as not to hurt Harry. 

 

The younger lad is hesitant but soon pulls himself from the couch. Liam starts to walk towards the bedroom but Harry reaches out to stop him. He intertwines their fingers, eyes glued to the floor. Liam squeezes gently and notices the gold band is still there, causing a dent between his fingers, still a reminder. They walk to the bedroom as slow as they had inside the apartment yesterday. Harry wincing with every step and Liam wincing because of Harry's pain. 

 

The clothes are still laid out on the bed and Liam squeezes Harry's hand again as he collects them. They move towards Liam's bathroom and once they're inside, he finally drops Harry's hand. 

 

"A bath would probably be better." Liam comments, moving towards the tub. 

 

Harry looks small and broken. As he stands in the middle of Liam's bathroom, fiddling with the sleeve of his jumper, like he always does when he's upset. The sound of the bath filling echoes off the wall of the bathrooms. Liam sets the clean clothes on the counter top. He can stop himself from reaching out for the younger boy, his hands cupping the others face. 

 

"You're safe, okay?" He whispers. "I'm never going to let anyone hurt you again." 

 

He rubs the pads of his thumbs across Harry's cheeks gently and leans forward to press a kiss to his forehead. Then he let's go because if he didn't, he never would. 

 

"Just come out when you're finished." He says, moving past the other boy and out of the room. 

 

Liam tries to ignore the sharp intakes of breath that comes when Harry tries to remove his shirt. As much as he wants to go back inside and help, as much as he'd like to soothe Harry in to the bath. Kneel at the side of the tub and wash away any memory of that man from Harry's skin. He knows he can't, he knows it's not his place to take care of Harry in that way anymore. It's his place to be the friend Harry wants. To be the friend that has to distract himself with cooking, to stop himself going to kill the bastard that hurt his friend. 

 

Louis arrives just as Liam's slipping some bacon into the baps he'd bought yesterday. He sits at the kitchen table when Liam informs him that Harry's taking a bath. 

 

"What happened?" 

 

Liam shrugs, placing the bap that was for him in front of Louis. "He won't tell me." 

 

"Has he left Jenson?" Louis questions, biting in to the bap like he hadn't eaten for days. 

 

The thought of Harry going to back to Jenson makes Liam feel sick. "I don't know." 

 

Louis shoots him a 'you're useless' look and they fall in to a silence as they wait for Harry to come out of the bathroom. Liam's putting the kettle on when he finally does, dressed in Liam's clothes. The white shirt Liam had given him, hangs off his collarbone and the bruises there are very much clear. 

 

"I'm going to kill that fucking bastard." Louis growls. 

 

Harry winces and Liam's body automatically reaches out for him. When Harry comes towards him pliantly, he sighs. It may have been hard to watch Harry marry someone else, it was much harder to see Harry hurt by the person he thought made him happy. 

 

"It's--" 

 

Louis lets out an inhuman noise that cuts Harry off. "No, Harry. It's not an accident. It's not nothing. There's no brushing it off this time, he's a twat. He deserves to go to fucking jail." 

 

"This has happened before?" Liam asks, his grip around Harry tightening. 

 

"You know the whole wife saying 'I walked in to a door' shit." Louis seethes. "That's been our Haz for the past year." 

 

Harry goes stiff in his grip but Liam doesn't loosen up. "Why?" 

 

"Because he's an idiot and wouldn't listen to any of us when we told him how much of a dick Jenson is." Louis red in the face by this point, his hands gripping the counter so tight that his knuckles were turning white. 

 

"I thought you were happy." Liam states, focusing his attention on Harry. 

 

"I was, I am." Harry whispers. "He loves me." 

 

The words sound like he's trying to convince himself and that breaks Liam's heart. The lads had always shown their distaste for Jenson (mostly Niall) but he had always assumed it was because they were with him. They weren't going to big up the guy who's marrying the person their best friends in love with. Apparently they're dislike had a reason, a valid one at that. 

 

"That's not...It...That doesn't make it acceptable, Haz." Liam sighs. 

 

Harry's tugging himself from his grip then. "Because you're so much better." 

 

"Harry.." Louis warns. 

 

"He just does it with his fists." Harry yells. 

 

The silence that overcomes the room is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. It takes Liam fighting back to sickness in his stomach to whisper. "Is that really what you think?" 

 

Harry doesn't answer, he's shaking and staring at the ground. Liam leaves the room then, unable to torture himself anymore. Louis's voice is loud but he's not yelling, it's as if he's talking to someone through a brick wall and they're having trouble hearing him. Liam grabs his car keys from the coffee table, leaving his own apartment. 

 

Somehow he finds himself at a place he hadn't realized he was driving to, until he pulls up outside. It's like his body is on autopilot as he walks up to the door and knocks. 

 

A little girl, with eyes to familiar answers the door. "Hello." 

 

"Hi." Liam smiles slightly. "Is your mummy home?" 

 

The little girl turns to look inside just as a familiar voice calls out. "Mia, who is it?" 

 

"It's a man mummy." Mia answers.  Just as the person Liam had spent his teenage years convincing himself he was in love with, appears in the doorway. 

 

"Liam." Danielle breaths. 

 

Liam takes in her appearance, mostly the small baby cuddled up to her chest in a sling. It's only then he becomes aware it's late december, it's snowing and he's in nothing but a t-shirt.  

 

"Come inside." Danielle demands, leading her daughter out of the path of the door. 

 

Liam steps inside, his eyes scanning around the house. It held so much of Danielle's character with the family photos and art covering the walls. It was everything they'd always talked about. 

 

"I'm just going to put Wesley down for a nap." Danielle says. "The living room is through that door." 

 

Mia bounces next to Liam as he follows Danielle's instructions in to the living room. It's covered in toys and has a large christmas tree to the left of the fire place. It's so homely, it's everything Danielle had ever wanted and it makes his heart settled a little bit. 

 

"Who are you?" Mia asks, climbing on the cushion next to him when he sits down. 

 

"An old friend of your mums." Liam explains. 

 

Mia nods and picks up something from the table next to the couch. "Do you like M&M's?" 

 

He looks down at the bowl full of Danielle's favourite chocolate and can't help but smile fondly. 

 

"My mummy says she can eat these until the cows come home." Mia says, taking a handful for herself when Liam's taken one. "I don't know what it means but she eats them a lot.."

 

"What's your favourite chocolate?" Liam asks. 

 

"Smarties." Mia answers. "But mummy says I can't eat lots because If I do my brain will get too smart and will explode." 

 

Danielle's distinctive laugh comes from the doorway. "You're smart enough, aren't you baby?" 

 

"Yes." Mia nods and then leans in to whisper to Liam. "I know they don't really make your smarter but Mummy thinks they do so shh." 

 

Danielle lifts her daughter up, settling her lap as she sits down. "What are you whispering about?" 

 

"Our little secret." Liam winks at Mia. 

 

Mia beams and cuddles up to her mum. Danielle brushes her fringe away from her forehead and leaves a kiss in it's place. When Mia closes her eyes, there's a familiar pair set on Liam. 

 

"Harry got married last week." He says. 

 

Danielle nods. "I know, I got an invite." 

 

"You didn't go because of me?" Liam asks. 

 

Danielle rests her head on top of her daughters. "I couldn't see you be the way you were when he left." 

 

For some reason that one line pushes Liam to tell her about what happened at the wedding, what happened on Christmas day and what happened only an twenty minutes ago. 

 

"He really said that?" Danielle frowns. 

 

"Yeah." Liam muses. 

 

"You know he's wrong, right?" She reaches out to squeeze his hand. "It's not the same. You being unable to show the world how much you love him, that's not the same. You were scared, Liam. It's understandable. What that guy is doing to Harry, that's not even close...that's not at all acceptable." 

 

Liam drops his heads in to his hands. "None of this would have happened if I wasn't such a coward." 

 

"You're not a coward." Danielle tells him sternly. "Harry had years to come to terms with who he was. For all you knew, you were straight. You loved me for christ sake." 

 

Everything hurts and he just wants it to all to go away. He wants to go back to that day when Harry had asked him if he was ashamed of them. He wants to grab Harry and tell him he doesn't care what other people think, as long as he stays, as long as he never leaves. The pain of loosing Harry was far greater than the words people shouted or the punches people threw. 

 

"You're harrysexual remember?" 

 

Liam's entire body shakes as his laugh breaks in to a sob. 

 

"Shh.." Danielle soothes, her hand thumb rubbing gently across his hand. "He needs you now. He needs the person who's been best friends with him since he six. The one guy I know who loves his friends so much he'd risk his own life to keep them happy. That's the Liam he needs." 

 

'Always the one to take care of us all' the word echo in his mind once again, this time Harry's voice sounds far more desperate than it had that night. 

 

"I need to go." Liam stands suddenly. 

 

Danielle nods in understanding, her arms wrapped tightly around her daughter. "Come and visit, okay? It'd be nice for my kids to know at least one good man." 

 

Liam has so many questions to go along with that sentence but decides to lock them in a box for a later date. Instead he fishes his phone out of his pocket and hands it to Danny. 

 

"Remember what I told you." She says, once she's typed her number in and handed it back. 

 

Liam leans in and presses his lips to her cheek. "Thank you." 

 

"I love you, Liam." Danielle tells him. "I always will." 

 

"I love you too." Liam replies. Danielle nods. They both know they mean it differently but it's enough. 

 

Mia snuffles in her mums lap and Liam presses a kiss to her temple. Then he leaves and tries not to think to much as he drives the twenty minutes back to his apartment. 

 

Louis' on the couch when he get's inside his apartment and he doesn't even have to open his mouth to ask. 

 

"He's in the guest room." Louis tells him. "Pretty sure he cried himself to sleep." 

 

Liam sighs, dropping himself on the couch beside his friend. "I thought he was happy." 

 

"We all did." Louis gulps. "I think in a way he was. That's what it is right, when someone you love hurts you. You accept it because you hope it's an in the moment thing. You hope that in the aftermath they'll realise what they've done and plead forgiveness." 

 

"I'm not analyzing, Harry." Liam leans in to the comfort of the couch. "It's not my place. If he wants help, I'll find him someone. But I'm not being his therapist when it's hard enough to be his friend." 

 

"Okay." Louis nods. "I think I should go...El's gonna kill me if I leave her do the first night feed." 

 

Liam walks him to the door. "Have you decided on a name yet?" 

 

"William." Louis smiles tiredly. "William James Edward Tomlinson." 

 

"Zayn's not going to be happy." Liam laughs. 

 

"Teach him for having such a bloody awkward middle name." Louis shrugs. "If he gets to sad i'll just name him Godfather or something." 

 

"We'll see how well that works." Liam comments and gives Louis a hug before he leaves. 

 

Liam makes two cups of tea and carries them in to the spare room. Harry's got his back facing the door, his body curled up as small as he could make it go. 

 

"I hope you still like it strong with no sugar." Liam says, setting the tea on the bedside table. 

 

Harry's eyes are open and the only response he gives is a blink. Liam moves around to the other side of the bed. Sitting down with his back against the headboard with his tea clasped in his hands. 

 

"I'm sorry..." Harry starts softly. "For what I said earlier." 

 

"It's forgotten." Liam replies, sipping at his tea. 

 

Harry turns to face him, green eyes as blood shot as they were yesterday with a purple bruise appearing around the left one. Liam gulps down the lump in his throat and sets his tea aside. 

 

"I'd really like to kill him." He declares. 

 

"Yeah." Harry blinks up at him. 

 

Liam moves so they're laying parallel to each other. "Don't go back to him." 

 

"Louis said he'll have me exiled if I do." Harry says as he hesitates to curl up to Liam's side. 

 

He lifts his arm to allow the movement, dropping it around Harry's shoulder once he's settled. "Promise me?" 

 

"Liam.." Harry whines. 

 

"Promise me or I can't do this." Liam tells him. "I'm not being your friend if I have to watch you put yourself through that." 

 

There's a moment of silence followed by a small. "I promise." 

 

"You can stay here as long as you need." Liam offers. "The spare room is your if you want it. You don't have to give me any money. The only rule I have is that you keep your promise." 

 

The reply isn't instant. Liam feels himself falling asleep in the peaceful silence and he barley catches the whispered 'okay'. 

 

The next morning they're agreement stands and Harry stays, living out of Liam's wardrobe and kitchen cupboards. That's how the next days follow. Liam keeps Harry at an arms length at all times. Attempting to treat him just as he would any of the other boys. It's hard when it reminds him of when they're together. Especially when he comes home from work and Harry is settled on the couch or cooking in the kitchen. 

Louis' to caught up on his little boys first few weeks of life to be there to tell Liam to be careful. Zayn tries but he has the tendency to take a step back, if what the lads are doing is making them happy. Niall's oblivious, he's too happy to have one place where Harry cooks him food and Liam watches films with on the couch. 

 

It's gets to the first sunday since Christmas. Usually goes to dinner at the Horan household and today was meant to be no different. Except it was, when Harry had sat at the kitchen table that morning and asked Liam if he'd come to collect his stuff. 

 

"Do you think we should ask Lou to come too, just in case?" Liam asks. 

 

Harry shakes his head, putting their breakfast plates in the sink. "He won't do anything, not with you there." 

 

"Okay." Liam nods. "We'll get your stuff  then go to Ni's." 

 

They agree that going in all guns blazing isn't the best idea. Instead, Harry will knock the door and Liam will stand a few feet back, close enough to do something if Jenson kicks off. 

Except when they get to the apartment block or more importantly when they know the door. Jenson isn't the one to answer, it's a young woman with a crying baby. Harry goes silent, not knowing what to say. Liam steps forward, asks the woman if Jenson's home. The woman blinks at him like she has no idea what she's talking about. Liam apologises only to have the door slammed in his face. He sighs, leading a stiff Harry away from the apartment. 

They're half way to Niall's when Harry pulls himself from his trance and dials the number to the landlord. Apparently, Jenson had moved out the day after boxing day. He'd paid off their rent for the rest of the month and left no following address. Harry ended the call without a thank you or a goodbye. 

 

Liam swears under his breath as he parks outside Niall's house. "Do you want to go home?" 

 

"I don't have a home." Harry says monotone. "Or clothes, or things, or anything." 

 

"We'll find him, okay? We'll get your stuff back." Liam promises. 

 

There's no reply from the right side of the car and Liam contemplates driving them back to his apartment. Except Niall's already opening his front door, wide grin on his face. 

 

"Don't tell him." Harry begs. 

 

Liam squeezes Harry's thigh gently. "Let me know if you want to leave." 

 

They both climb out of the car and head up the path towards Niall. Liam punches him in the shoulder as he passes and heads straight in to the kitchen to find Sarah. Oscar's in his high chair and reaches out for him as soon as he walks through the door. Liam picks him up, resting him on his hip as he watches Sarah hurry around the kitchen. 

 

"Your mum coming this week?" 

 

"Yes." Sarah pants. 

 

 Harry comes in to the room, his usual grin plastered on his face. "Anything I can help with?" 

 

"The help arrives." Sarah throws her hands up. "Could you make the gravy?" 

 

"Of course." Harry agrees, pressing a kiss to Oscars cheek as he passes. 

 

Liam decides to leave them to it and heads out of the room, into the living room. Niall's got Sky Sports on, some cricket game between two teams Liam's never heard of. Though he still sits down, Oscar in his lap, and watches the entirety of the game. Then Sarah's family arrive, lots of little people who all want to use Liam as their personal jungle gym. Liam attempts to keep ahold of Oscar so he won't have to interact with the rest of the family. But Sarah's mum takes him as soon as she spots him,  which means he's left with Sarah's nephew trying to sit on his shoulders, while her brother tries to talk to him about real estate. All this happens while Niall watches the cricket match, blissfully unaware. 

 

When dinners done, Liam is made to sit at the table opposite Harry as the rest of the couple sit opposite their partners . The kids sit at a separate table. Harry gets a miserable look on his face anytime someone isn't making conversation with him. The situation is made worse when half way through dinner Sarah's mum asks them how they're liking married life. 

 

"Uh.." Harry stammers, his leg beginning to giggle under the table. 

 

Liam locks Harry's knees between his own, forcing on a smile. "We like it." 

 

Sarah's mum goes to ask more questions but Sarah quickly distracts her with a different conversation, shooting Liam apologetic looks for the rest of the meal. Harry doesn't ask if they can go home after food but Liam knows he wants to. Neither Niall or Sarah stop them, they both say goodbye at the door and Niall whispers to Liam to keep him updated. 

 

The car ride back to the flat is quiet and Liam feels like he's spent the past month with Harry in silence. It doesn't feel different than the last month of their relationship and the familiarity of it hurts, a lot. 

 

Harry's rushing inside the apartment once Liam's got the door open. "Where's your laptop Li!?!" 

 

"Here." Liam reaches for his apple mac resting on the coffee table. 

 

Harry sits on the edge of the couch, the machine resting his knees. Liam sits down next to him, watching as Harry pulls up the internet followed by Santandeers website. There's account numbers and passwords being typed in and Liam wants to ask what's going on. That is until he see's the joint bank account of Harry Styles and Jenson Daniels followed by £0.00. 

 

"Fuck." Harry curses, slamming the screen of the laptop down. 

 

"Don't you have your own bank account?" Liam questions cautiously. 

 

Harry buries his hands in his hair and drops his head down. "Yes but we had all our savings in there. I've only got my pay check from this month in my bank." 

 

"Christ, Harry.." 

 

"How could he do that?" Harry cries. "I've been saving that money since I was nineteen. It was meant to go towards our first house." 

 

The word 'our' hits Liam deep in the chest. The large corner of his heart labeled 'Harry' is slowly having the stitches undone again. If Harry had been saving the money since he was nineteen, his original plan was to buy a house with Liam. 

 

"Now I've got nothing." Harry states, not noticing Liam's own internal struggle. "Penniless, homeless and newly divorced. What a fucking catch am I?" 

 

"You're a great catch." Liam informs him. "And we're going to find that guy, we're going to get your money back." 

 

"It was a joint bank account, Liam." Harry cries. "The money is just as much his as it is mine." 

 

"There has to be some law against it." Liam disagrees. 

 

They call Louis to talk to Eleanor, they ask her if there is a law against it. Apparently there isn't, she does suggest that he should mention the account and the missing money in the divorce. Jenson would then have to pay Harry back half, even if that's not the amount Harry had put in to the account. 

Harry seems a little calmer once they hang up the phone. Liam lets him be and moves over to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. When Harry tells him he's heading to bed early, he doesn't do anything to stop him. 

 

In fact they don't talk at all after that night. Harry files for a divorce from Jenson and Eleanor offers to be his lawyer for the case. Liam spends as much time as he normally does at work. The rest of his free time split between the three different families. There's barley a time when him and Harry are in the apartment at the same time. 

 

Except on Sunday mornings. They have this silent pact on Sundays. They eat breakfast together, go food shopping, and then go to the Horan household for Sunday dinner. Sarah's mother still thinks they're newly weds and Liam has to attempt to answer all her questions without giving away the fact they're not. He doesn't know why they don't tell her the truth. There's a sadness in Harry's eyes every time it's brought up and Liam answers the questions just to get the sadness to go away. 

 

Usually when they get back from Niall's they go their separate ways. Liam will go to the gym or sit on the couch and watch a series of whatever is new on Netflix. Harry will go to his room and ring his mum or sister. Today's different, today when Liam settles on the couch with a cup of tea and his finger hovering over the 'play' button. Harry sits down on the other end of the couch. 

 

Liam doesn't say anything and that's how it starts. At first it's just sunday's, then it becomes a nightly thing. When Liam comes in from work, after heating up a microwave meal, he'll sit down on the couch with Harry and finish whatever thing they'd been watching the night previous. 

They still don't talk but Harry will suggest a TV show that looks good and then Liam will buy it. Sometimes they fall asleep on the couch and wake up with their legs intertwined. Sometimes one of the other lads will join them and they'll have to sit closer, sides pressed together. 

It seems like a good routine, until one day Liam has a bad day at work and ends up coming home late. The apartment is dark when get inside but the blinds are still open, the moonlight highlighting Harry's sleeping figure on the couch. 

 

The memory burns like branding iron in his mind. When Liam had first started his practice, only a few months after graduating university. This was the scene he'd come home to most nights. Harry had attempted to stay up and wait for him but had ended up passing out on the couch from exhaustion. They'd argued over it, a lot. Liam was the one who didn't like it, never once did Harry complain about his late nights. 

 

Liam drops his bag and coat by the door and makes his way slowly over to the couch. "Harry, Hazza." 

 

"Hmm.." Harry stirs, eyes blinking open. "Hey." 

 

"You should be in bed." Liam sighs, sitting himself down on the coffee table. 

 

Harry shrugs, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "I really wanted to see the end of 'Dead Man Down'." 

 

"It's sunday tomorrow." Liam says with a small smile. "Is it too late?" 

 

The grin he loves comes to Harry's lips and the other lad makes a move to sit up on the couch, patting the space beside him. Liam moves from the coffee table on to the couch, kicking off his shoes. Harry's hand disappears between the cushions, reappearing with the remote. Liam lets himself slip in to the comfort of the couch as Harry switches on the TV. 

Harry switches on 'Dead Man Down' from where they had paused it last night, then settles in to the couch beside Liam. It must be a credit to how tired Liam is that he finds himself actually leaning in to Harry's warmth. The film is barley un-paused from where they had stopped the night before when Liam feels his eyes closing over. The last thing he remembers is an arm coming down around him, to hold him in place .

 

The end credits to the film are playing when Liam's been shaken awake. The sun is basking the apartment in light and Harry's looking down at him with tired eyes. 

 

"We need to be at Ni's in an hour." Harry explains. 

 

Liam makes a noise of complaint, not moving from where's he's cuddled up to Harry's chest. "Too tired for madness." 

 

The pillow beneath him vibrates as a small laugh escapes Harry's throat. Liam closes his eyes again, really not wanting to move at all. Harry wriggles beneath him and for a moment Liam think he's uncomfortable. Until Harry settles again, his arm coming back around Liam, finger tips brushing over Liam's bare arm soothingly. 

 

"Hey Ni." Harry says softly, forcing Liam's eyes to open. 

 

Liam tilts his head up and Harry grins down at him. "We're not gonna be able to make it today. Yeah, Liam's really not well. He's throwing his guts up, poor sod." 

 

Liam grumbles, turning his face in to the comfort of Harry's wooly jumper. Harry says a few more words to Niall and a coo that he assumes is meant for Oscar. Then he hangs up and moves once again underneath Liam before settling. 

 

"How about we watch every Colin Farrel film ever made?" 

 

Liam mumbles his agreement but still refuses to move. It may be the only time his conscious lets him do this (and by conscious he means the little voice of Louis in his head that tells  him he's an idiot) and he was going to indulge himself for a little bit longer. 

 

"Hart's war? That's the on you like, right?" 

 

"Hmm.." Liam hums, knowing sleep will take him over before the film even begins. 

Which it does, Liam barley makes it through Colin Farrel getting capture before his eyes close over. Harry's finger tips are tracing patterns on the skin of his bicep. The other boys breathing like a lullaby under his ear. Both things lead him towards unconsciousness. 

 

When he awakens again a few hours later, this time he's alone. It's dark again but this time the moonlight isn't the only thing illuminating the apartment. The light is on in the kitchen and when Liam's eye gaze over in that direction, there's Harry singing to himself as cooks something on the stove. 

 

"How long have I been asleep?" He asks, mid yawn. 

 

Harry jumps, eyes wide as he looks in Liam's direction. "You scared the crap out of me." 

 

"I was asleep, not dead." Liam grins. "What you cooking?" 

 

"Spag Bol." Harry shrugs, turning back to the stove. 

 

Liam stretches out his limbs as he stands up from the couch. "My favourite." 

 

"Yeah." Harry says quietly, now refusing to look in Liam's direction. 

 

"Need some help?" Liam asks, moving towards the kitchen and settling in one of the stools at the island. 

 

Harry shakes his head, moving from the stove towards the sink. "Remember that time you burned water." 

 

"I was distracted." Liam claims. 

Harry's leaning over the sink to pour the spaghetti into the strainer. As he does, the wooly jumper he's wearing pulls taught across his broad shoulders. Liam's eyes involuntary trail down the length of Harry's body until they land on Harry's arse, compacted so neatly in to his tight skinny jeans. There's the perfect example of what distracted him enough to burn the water. 

 

"Remember that time you burned Louis' oven pizza." Harry chuckles, turning back towards him. "He was so mad." 

 

"I ordered some for  him after I did.." Liam pouts.. "There was no need for him to hit me over the head with the burned one." 

 

Harry's back by the stove now, stirring the remaining pot that sits on it. "And there was that time you set the microwave on fire by trying to melt Nutella with the silver foil still on." 

 

"That was...my fault." Liam sighs. 

 

Harry laughs, adding some seasoning to the pan. "Almost burned our entire apartment down." 

 

"You're the one that put the Nutella in the freezer." Liam points out. "Who does that." 

 

"Our fridge was so shitty." Harry comments. "I'm surprised we didn't get ill, the amount of warm milk we drank." 

 

"I bought fresh every morning after my run." 

 

Harry spins to face him. "Seriously?" 

 

"Our fridge didn't work, there was no way I was risking you getting ill." Liam shrugs. 

 

The room goes silent. Harry turns back to face to stove, stirring some more before turning it off. He collects two plates from the cupboard and separates the pasta evenly. Liam moves from the bar stool to get some cutlery and glasses. There's a bottle of red wine still in his cupboard from the time Roo had visited him for a week. As Harry pours the sauce on the pasta, he makes a move to set the table. 

 

"Remember that time we spilled that glass of wine all over your mum's creme carpet?" Harry asks, moving towards the table and setting the plates down on each of the place sets Liam had put down. 

 

Liam scoffs, taking his seat as he unscrews the top of the wine bottle. "I don't think she'll ever let me live that one down." 

 

"She rang me over Christmas." Harry says, eyes on his food. 

 

"I thought she might." Liam nods. "Is that how you knew I'd be home..?" 

 

"Yeah." Harry twists some pasta around his fork distractedly. "I was going to go to Zayn's but then I remembered she said you were on call." 

 

"A guy tried to jump off tower bridge." Liam tells him. "Said  he'd lost his wife and kids in a car accident and felt he had nothing to live for anymore.." 

 

"What did you tell him?" Harry asks, finally lifting his attention to Liam. 

 

"That everyone deserves to live and no one should be in a hospital wing on Christmas." 

 

Harry's gaze falls once again. "Maybe you should take your own advice." 

 

"Maybe." Liam mumbles, tucking into the food in front of them. It takes him minutes to clear his plate, he'd hate to admit how much he'd missed Harry's cooking. Sometimes living off microwave meals day - to - day and only have one home cooked meal a week, can take a tole on one's stomach. 

 

"That was amazing." Liam compliments, stretching out his now filled stomach. Harry's eyes fall down to the trail of hair that Liam's risen shirt shows off. The younger boys cheeks blush when Liam catches him looking. 

 

Harry clears his throat. "You can do the washing up." 

 

"Of course." Liam agrees, carrying both of their plates over to the sink. Harry grabs both their wine glasses and makes a move over to the couch. 

 

"What are we watching tonight then?" Liam asks, glancing over his shoulder as he fills the sink with soapy water. 

 

Harry's sits on the couch with his feet up on the coffee table, flicking idly through the selection of things on Netflix. "That new paranormal mysteries show looks good." 

 

"Are you sure you're not going to get scared like you did when we watched Paranormal Activity?" 

 

Liam's not even facing him and he knows Harry rolled his eyes. "I only got scared because you kept jumping out on me." 

 

"Oh, I'm sorry, baby." Liam says it before even realizing it's escaped his mouth. 

 

There's a sharp intake of breath from the living room and a sudden silence follows it. As if neither of them know how to react to the word. Liam continues with the dishes, hoping if he ignores it, then it will be easier to forget. It takes an extra beat for Harry to go back to flicking through shows. Liam doesn't breath easy until Harry does. 

 

Once the dishes are dried and back in the cupboard (he may have taken double time drying them) he moves over to sit on the couch with Harry. Liam focuses on the credits rolling when Harry presses play and manages to drink the contents of his wine glass at the same time. Harry's wine glass stays untouched but as the show progresses, he does sink further in to the couch. 

By the time their twenty minutes in and both completely bored by the show. Harry's head somehow finds it's way to Liam's lap and he finds himself stroking the other lads hair idly. 

 

"Remember that time we spent the entire weekend watching my Friends boxset." Harry says quietly. "We didn't move from the couch unless it was to pee or collect food deliveries." 

 

"Louis thought we'd killed each other." Liam breaths out a laugh. "He had this strange idea that we hated each other." 

 

"Then put it down to sexual tension." 

 

Liam's dick twitches at just the mention of those words, reminding him how he'd hadn't gotten any in a while. He knows Harry felt it, the guys head was practically using him as a cushion. 

 

"Remember that time we spend the weekend christening our apartment." 

 

This time when Liam's dick twitches, his brain's fully on board. An image of their old apartment instantly enters his mind. Harry bent over their second hand couch following it. Harry on his knees in the small cubical shower, following after that. All those different positions, all those small spaces. 

 

"Fuck." Liam curses, his fingers now gripping at the ends of Harry's hair. 

 

"Remember that time at the Jack Wilson concert?" 

 

Liam's dick's fully awake by this point, getting half hard under Harry's head. He remembers that concert, it was intimate. Just the indie band Harry liked and the crowd. Except the crowd was insane, loud and sweaty. The two of them spent the entire show pressed up against each other. Harry being Harry had to jump up and down to every song, rubbing Liam in exactly the right way. Liam was still a teenager, his dick accepting any attention it could get (much like it was now). They'd left before the last song and Liam had fucked Harry in the toilets. Then made him wait until they got home to be sucked off, as punishment. 

 

"Or that time at Louis' birthday party.." Harry turns his head. "Or that time at Zayn's wedding. Or that time before your first interview. Or that time..." 

 

"Harry.." Liam pants. 

 

Harry green eyes blink up at him innocently and the way he licks his lips is completely obscene. They'd been in this position, with Harry completely obedient to whatever Liam wanted. Liam being unsure, the one who would actually thinks things through. Liam had pushed him away that time and many times after that, until he finally submitted. 

This time Liam doesn't have a rational thought process. The hand in Harry's hair is pushing him down and Liam tries not growl at the clever smirk that covers Harry's lips. 

 

Harry lifts himself so he's half bent over Liam and makes quick work of undoing the button on Liam's trousers. There's no build up, no foreplay. There's just Harry's lips wrapped around his cock. Liam fingers digging hard in to the back of Harry's skull as he works him over. 

 

Liam's heavy breathes fill the room, his head falling back agains the couch cushions when he finally comes. Harry pulls away, his lips far redder than they were, his eyes a little bloodshot. Liam's spent, body lax against the couch as Harry does his trousers back up for him. 

 

"We should go to bed." Harry whispers. 

 

It's not said seductively, instead more of a request. Liam nods, circling his fingers around Harry's wrist as they both stand from the couch. Harry leads them to the spare room, instead of Liam's. Ridding himself off his wooly jumper and skinny jeans. Liam strips himself of the clothes he'd been stuck in for two days now and climbs under the covers next to the younger lad. 

 

"Sleep." Harry commands when Liam reaches out for him. 

 

Liam retreats his hand back and lays down on his back on the left of the bad. After a few minutes Harry curls up next to him. His obvious hard on pressing against Liam's thigh. 

 

"Sleep." He repeats. 

 

"Harry.." Liam tries. 

 

"Just, stay." Harry whispers, nuzzling his nose against Liam's jaw. 

 

Liam lifts his arm to wrap it around Harry's half naked frame and falls asleep for a third time in two days, to the sound of Harry's breath plays like a lullaby. 

 

Their relationship gets weird after that. If two ex-boyfriends living together wasn't weird enough. Two ex-boyfriends who fool around seems a hell of a lot weirder. 

 

It does in Liam's book anyway, especially when his feelings for Harry are as strong as they were the first time. Louis tells him he's an idiot and Zayn agrees. Niall seems to assume they'd been fooling around since Harry had moved in so he doesn't count. Eleanor and Sarah give him sympathetic looks. Perrie could seem to care less, as long as what they're doing makes them happy then she says she'll keep her nose out. 

 

They're nights on the couch still happen, only now when the night comes to an end and they decided to go to bed, they both go to the same one. They haven't had sex but jacking each other off and giving blow jobs seem to happen whenever they're not interested in the show they've turned on (which seems to be most of the time). 

Liam let's it continue for a month. An entire month of Louis and Zayn giving him judging looks. An entire month of the sympathy glares from Sarah and Eleanor. An entire month of Perrie acting like they're just another ordinary couple. An entire month of hand jobs and blow jobs. An entire month of questioning everything. 

 

Until one night when they all decide to go out for Sarah's birthday. Everyone gets babysitters and no one drives, which means the entire night is fueled with alcohol. They start at one Niall's favourite Italian resturaunt, where, with their food,  they consume eight bottles of wine between them. Then they move on to the pubs and Liam's pretty sure he had around three pints in the first one. By the time they're on their forth, he's stops counting. 

 

The nine of them are squished in to a five person booth. The girls are all on the guys laps and Harry's curled up so closely to Liam's side, they could practically be one person. 

 

"I'm tired." Harry admits leaning heavily in to Liam. 

 

"You wanna go home?." Liam asks,  watching the way Harry's eyes fight to stay open. 

 

"Don't be boring." Sarah whines from her place in Niall's lap. "I'm in my flirty thirties, we should be consuming more alcohol." 

 

"I concur." Eleanor slurs. 

 

"Stay for a little bit." Harry murmurs, turning his face against Liam's neck. 

 

Liam moves his arm to incorporate Harry more comfortable against him. The girls drag the guys up to the dance floor, all that is expect for Zayn. Who refused to move from his space in the corner of the booth, opposite Harry and Liam. 

 

"I think you should take him home." Zayn tells Liam. 

 

Liam looks down at Harry who's got his thumb hooked in the belt loop of Liam's trousers and his mouth half open against the skin of Liam's collarbone. The breathing that usually sings him to sleep is coming in it's usual soft pattern against his ear. 

 

"Hmm...I think I might." He replies, moving slowly not to jostle Harry to much. 

 

Zayn gives him a small goodbye, the older lads head leaning against the glass of the booth like he could use some sleep himself. Liam leads a half conscious Harry across the pub. Letting the girls fuss over them when they reach them. 

 

"Harry's tired." Liam informs them. 

 

They fuss some more, this time in sympathy but soon let him leave. Louis gives Liam a questionable look that his drunk mind decides to ignore. Liam calls a cab once they're outside, attempting to support Harry with arm as he does. Harry keeps his eyes closed, his arms loosely linked around Liam's waist. 

 

The cabby turns up after a few minutes wait and Liam moves them both in to the back. Instructing the driver where to go as he attempts to find his wallet in his pocket. Harry whines when he has to let him go to use both hands to search. But settles once Liam puts his arm back around him. 

 

When they get to the apartment, it's not even a conscious thought for Liam to lead the both of them to his room. Harry wakes up long enough to help Liam get rid of his clothes and trap Liam in a tangle of limbs once they're under the sheets. 

It's when they wake up the next morning that Liam's had enough of mind games. They're both on his side of the bed, with Harry using Liam's entire body as a pillow. When Liam moves his limbs to attempt to get the blood flow back to them, it seems to wake up the beds other occupant. 

 

"Morning." Harry mumbles, tilting his head up to brush his lips across Liam's. 

 

That's when Liam breaks because they don't kiss, they hadn't done the kissing thing. Hell, they hadn't even talked about what the hell was even going on between them. 

 

"What's going on?" Liam asks as calmly as possible. 

 

"Hmm.." Harry mumbles, fingers trailing idly across Liam's rib cage. 

 

"Us. This." Liam uses his free hand to gesture to them. "What's going on?" 

 

Harry sits up then, hair a mess and eyes so focused on Liam, it's a little scary. "What do you mean 'what's going on?' ?" 

 

"I mean what hell are we doing?" Liam cries. 

 

That's the moment Harry's phone decides to ring from where he'd left it in his jeans pocket. Liam glares at him, daring him to answer it. Harry's hesitant but decides to stay put. 

 

"We're dating, aren't we?" Harry questions. 

 

Liam feels like he's just be transported back seven years. "Dating?" 

 

"I don't know what else to call it." Harry frowns, hands coming up to fiddle  his hair nervously. 

 

The phone is still blaring from his jeans pockets and his eyes cast over to where they lay on the floor. Liam sighs but nods when Harry looks back at him questionably. The boy climbs off the bed so fast he almost trips over his own foot. 

 

"Hello?" Harry answers, his eyes glancing back at Liam. "I thought I had cover. It's just...I've made plans. She really can't cover for me?" 

 

Liam fiddles with the corner of his bed sheet, his mind on over run. He feels like one of his crazy painting he has his patients draw. He'd missed it, he'd missed all the signs. Just like he had the first time around. He was naive enough to believe that Harry was in the same situation as him, not having a clue what was going on. 

 

"Give me twenty minutes." Harry sighs and hangs up the phone. 

 

"They called you into work?" Liam asks slowly. 

 

Harry climbs up the bed until he's perched in front of Liam's now crossed legs. "It'll be for five hours, tops. And I promise we'll talk about this when I get home, okay?" 

 

Liam nods but refuses to lift his eyes to meet the other boys. Harry squeezes his hands that are clutching to the bed sheet and brushes his lips across the high of his cheekbone. 

Then he climbs off the bed and collects some clothes from Liam's wardrobe, heading in to the bathroom to change. Liam listens to she shower turning on and turns on his side. Trying not to think about it but it being the only thing that consumes his mind at the same time. 

Harry leaves after he's showered and changed, with a simple 'we'll talk when I get back'. He tries to fall back to sleep but he dreams about a boy with dimples and eyes as green as the grass in spring time. Instead he drags his duvet in to the living room and distracts himself with the sunday catch-up shows. 

 

By the time Harry's coming back in to the flat, he's watched Hollyoaks and Eastenders omnibus. Harry drops his things by the door, much as Liam had the one night he found Harry on the couch asleep. 

 

"What you watching?" Harry asks, lifting the corner of the duvet so he could slip underneath. 

 

Liam keeps his eyes on the screen. "Jeremy Kyle." 

 

"Anyone got a relationship as complicated as ours?" 

 

"They're not even in the same race." Liam replies, finally looking over to the other boy. 

 

"I love you." Harry tells him. "That's insane, right? After all this time. After everything we've been through." 

 

Liam takes a shaky breath in. "You're not mine anymore." 

 

"I've always been yours." Harry reaches for him with hands to big for such a delicate creature. He brushes his thumbs along Liam's jawline. 

 

"I let you go." Liam admits. "I let you marry someone else because I thought that's what you wanted." 

 

"You're what I want." Harry whispers, leaning in to brush his lips across Liam's. "You're the one, Liam. You always have been." 

 

Liam closes his eyes, dares himself not to lean in to the touch. "It hurt, Harry. I thought I lost you. I thought you were going to be his forever. I thought you didn't love me anymore." 

 

Harry presses their foreheads together, their lips brushing as he speaks. "I could never stop loving you." 

 

They're the words that were left in the silence that day. They're the words Liam wanted Harry to leave behind when he left with no more than an address he'd be staying at. They're the words he hangs on and will always hang on to. 

 

"I'm sorry." Liam whispers his own regretful words. 

 

Harry pushes his forward then, the kiss a lot more forceful than the last. Liam lifts his hands up, gripping at Harry's t-shirt like he needed something to hold on to. Which he did because the thought of every letting Harry go again broke any ounce of dignity he had left. 

 

They map out each others bodies like they'd never forgotten. Liam leaves marks on Harry skin like he's reminding himself of what he has and Harry doesn't ever venture far, too terrified of getting lost again. 

 

Harry's divorce comes through two weeks later. 

 

Two years later. 

 

The lungs of a screaming newborn pulls Liam from his sleep. He's got limbs wrapped around him and a body lay across him, like his own personal heater. Liam wiggles his arms from underneath Harry, to reach across and check the time on his iPhone. 5.32am. He groans, he'd only put the baby down two hours ago and she was already awake again. Careful not to wake a sleeping Harry, he removes his body from the tangle of limbs. 

Harry makes a noise in protest but doesn't make a move to wake up. Instead he buries himself in the warmth Liam had left behind. Liam wants to laugh at how ridiculous his hair looks, sticking up in different directions like that. Only another cry comes down the monitor and he's drawn towards the bedroom of his baby girl. 

 

She's wriggling in her sleep bag when he enters, her little face red from crying so much. Liam unzips the onesie and pulls her little hands through each of the holes. Then he lifts her to rest agains his bare chest, making her calm instantly. 

 

"That's better, hey." He soothes.. "Daddy wraps you a little too warm sometimes, doesn't he?" 

 

The youngster sniffles against bare skin as Liam rocks them gently back and forth. "You excited to meet everyone today, baby girl? All your crazy aunties and uncles." 

 

"Don't forget all those insane cousins." Harry says now leaning on the doorway of the nursery. 

 

Liam turns to smile at him then drops his eyes down to their daughter. "They're gonna love you." 

 

"Of course they are, she's a part of me." Harry smirks, moving into the room. He rests a hand on Liam's lower back and brushes the other across the baby's head. 

 

Liam leans forward to rest his forehead against Harry's, both of them still looking down and the sniffling child. "It's kind of overwhelming. How much you can love someone, just for being a part of someone else you love." 

 

"You're not going to start crying again, are you?" 

 

Liam swallows the lump in his throat. "I actually think I scared Sarah in the labour room because I cried so much." 

 

"I think she was too enamored to be scared." Harry whispers. "I've never seen someone so willing to hand a baby over before." 

 

Liam looks back up with a smile, moving his head up a little bit more to brush his lips across Harry's. "We're so lucky." 

 

There's a small cry from the baby trapped between their bodies that make two pull apart. Liam rubs his daughters back gently and follows Harry out of the room to the kitchen.

 

They fall in to their normal routine, even though their daughter is only two weeks old.  Liam feeds Destiny a bottle while Harry cooks them some food. Then Liam goes and takes a shower while Harry entertains the little one (pretty much sits on the couch and coos at her). When Liam's finished with his shower, he eats the food Harry had cooked earlier. Destiny then is dressed for the day by Harry while Liam tidies up the kitchen. Then Harry takes a shower while Liam has his twenty minutes to coo over the baby. 

 

Liam's checking his list to make sure they have everything in Destiny's baby bag while Harry puts her in her winter coat and straps her into her carry cot. 

 

"She looks like a mini abominable snowman in that coat." Liam chuckles when he looks over at the two. 

 

Harry rolls his eyes, pulling the little beaning down to cover more of Destiny's head. "I'd rather her be warm than cold." 

 

"There's such a thing as heat exertion, you know." Liam comments. 

 

Harry ignores him and decides instead to re-check the baby bag Liam had just packed. Liam rolls his eyes and picks up Destiny's carry cot, cooing at the child that just blinks at him in return. Once they're sure they've got everything they head downstairs. Harry checks to make sure the dogs have got enough food before they head into the garage. Liam's still not quite pro at the whole car seat thing yet. Harry had made the nurses show him several times and so he's the one trusted with the job. 

 

Liam shoots a quick text to Zayn as Harry get's Destiny settled. 'On our way. Be 'bout ten mins :) x' 

 

Harry slips in to the drivers side and squeezes at Liam's thigh excitedly. Liam rolls his eyes playfully as he turns on the ignition and presses the button to open the garage door. 

Everyone had already met Destiny, all the important people anyway. They'd all turned up at the hospital hours before she was due to be born. Liam was quite glad Louis was there as Harry was in no shape to comfort a crying Liam, when he was completely in awe of his daughter himself. 

 

Today was just a tradition Niall had cooked up last year, when they accidentally all spent Christmas eve together at his house. Everyone was due to drive to their different extended families by dusk. It was nice to have they're own little Christmas, just nine of them and the kids. They'd eat turkey like you would on christmas day and let the kids exchange present. They'd complain about all the family members they didn't want to visit. Liam couldn't wait. 

 

Niall's packing up the boot of his car when they pull up outside. This year he's heading home to Ireland for Christmas, which means he's got to get them to the airport before six o'clock. 

 

"How's my favourite God daughter?" He asks, running over to the car. 

 

Liam's lifting Destiny out just as he approaches. "Don't let Zia hear you say that." 

 

"Zia's everyone's favourite." Niall comments. "I want the new one." 

 

Liam laughs and doesn't stop Niall from taking the carry cot from him and carrying it inside. Harry reaches for his hand as they head up the path, the familiar gold band makes a dent between his fingers. This time it makes Liam smile because he knows who put it there, he knows the vein that leads from the finger that ring lays upon, leads to a heart that belongs to him. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I had a productive weekend. Thanks [Kecia ](http://lovedbyliam.tumblr.com) for being my beta.


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